Husband's Friends?

[keithster]

I listened to a friend tell me for a few years that her husband didn't have any real close friends. They moved a couple of times and he never seemed to get to know any guys that well.

For me, it sounded a bit strange. But then, I was single and my friends were my family to a large degree.

But then I got married and recently moved to a new area. With the career (which I do from home) and the 4 kids and 4 pets and big yard, there's not a lot of time to spend making friends.

Has anyone else experienced this? Are we men too busy to form the relationships that women thrive upon?

I do plan to get involved in a men's Bible study shortly. I sort of have to force myself to do it, otherwise, I'd just stay here comfortably at home with my cable modem and my family. :)

[jamesglewisf]

I think this is largely a function of how hospitable your home is. If you regularly entertain guests, you are going to have plenty of friends.

[blinc]

Not all women thrive on relationships Keithster. {toothy} I used to be one of those people that always had to have friends around. Going out with them, having them over, going over to their houses. As I've gotten older, I've found that I don't feel the need to be constantly surrounded by people. In fact, I seem to thrive on having my private space now! Of course, we still get together with friends occasionally - mostly to take them fishing with us. But neither one of us are really that interested in socializing anymore - we're a couple of content old fuddy-duddies.

For some reason, society makes people feel that they are wrong if they aren't out there socializing constantly. Personally, I think that once you reach a stage in your relationship with your mate, to where you are both content with each others company and maybe the occasional get together - there's absolutely nothing wrong with that. I do wish society would stop making us feel that there is.

I can see where it would be a problem though, if one of the spouse's wanted to socialize and one didn't. It could be pretty boring for the one who does want to entertain. If you're content to be at home with your family and your wife is content - then who's to say you have to socialize more? Enjoy each other's company! You never know how long you have to be with each other... so enjoy the heck out of the moments you do have. :)

[Karenluvs6]

This is so for Beezwax and myself also.
Since we got married, we've lost most of our friends. For me, my friends were my family too....just as you said yours were...I spent every single day with them....If they weren't at my house, I was at thiers.
Same thing for hubby...he was always with his friends...when he wasn't at work, he was with them.
A lot of our friends just totally stopped calling and stuff like a year or so after we married....don't know why.
Others we just don't have the time to hang out with, so they don't call either....Oh well....thier loss!! And like you, I work out of my home too...so I don't get to interact with society..LOL

We have tried going out to different places...didn't work.
We tried getting together with friends we had never been out with...That was O.K. We joined bowling leagues too...that seems to have worked for Beezwax. He has made some great new friends at the bowling alley.
I joined the basketball team...ended up loving the game but never spoke to anyone on the team....{rolleyes}
It's not easy when you're older and already set in your ways...you know?

[Military Mom]

Exactly, blinc!!!! Us too! lol

I keep in touch mostly by email and phone with my girlfriends. It's always a major undertaking to actually get together .... But we were lucky enough to all get pregnant and married within the past two-three years, so only a few of us are still in that single free and easy group.

Keith, my hubby is the same way - he was reading your post going, "Yep!" He says he prefers computers to people (my son and I excluded). He is lucky enough to have two good friends out here by us, but a lot of the time their get-togethers are over Battlenet playing Starcraft. {rolleyes} I guess it'd better than what they USED to do when they were younger ...!

mm

[kezzer]

My hubby really doesn't have that many friends, or doesn't go out very often. Neither of us do. Well I have lots of friends at work, but no time to go out with them. I am pretty content with just staying home for the most part now, I used to want to go out all the time. My hubby too, but with our long hours we would just rather relax at home and occasionally hae a few friends over to watch a movie or whatnot.