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View Full Version : Idiots, Idiots....everywhere idiots!!


Karenluvs6
10-28-2000, 08:34 AM
IDIOTS IN SERVICE:
This week, all our office phones went dead and I had to contact the telephone repair people. They promised to be out between 8:00 a.m. and 7:00 p.m. When I asked if they could give me a smaller time window, the pleasant gentleman asked, "Would you like us to call you before we come?" I replied that I didn't see how he would be able to do that, since our phones weren't working. He also requested that we report future outages by email (Does YOUR email work without a telephone line?).

IDIOTS AT WORK:
I was signing the receipt for my credit card purchase when the clerk noticed I had never signed my name on the back of the credit card. She informed me that she could not complete the transaction unless the card was signed. When I asked why, she explained that it was necessary to compare the signature I had just signed on the receipt. So I signed the credit card in front of her. She carefully compared the signature to the one I had just signed on the receipt. As luck would have it, they matched.

IDIOTS IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD:
I live in a semi-rural area. We recently had a new neighbor call the local township administrative office to request the removal of the Deer Crossing sign on our road. The reason: too many deer were being hit by cars and he didn't want them to cross there anymore.

IDIOTS IN FOOD SERVICE:
My daughter went to a local Taco Bell and ordered a taco. She asked the person behind the counter for "minimal lettuce." He said he was sorry, but they only had iceberg.

IDIOT SIGHTING #1:
I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an airport employee asked, "Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?" To which I replied, "If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?" He smiled knowingly and nodded, "That's why we ask?"

IDIOT SIGHTING #2:
The stoplight on the corner buzzes when it's safe to cross the street. I was crossing with an intellectually-challenged coworker of mine when she asked if I knew what the buzzer was for. I explained that it signals blind people when the light is red. Appalled, she responded, "What on earth are blind people doing driving?!"

IDIOT SIGHTING #3:
At a good-bye luncheon for an old and dear co-worker who was leaving the company due to "downsizing," our manager commented cheerfully, "This is fun. We should do this more often." Not a word was spoken. We all just looked at each other with that deer-in-the-headlights stare.

IDIOT SIGHTING #4:
I work with an individual who plugged her power strip back into itself and for the life of her couldn't understand why her system would not turn on.

IDIOT SIGHTING #5:
When my husband and I arrived at an automobile dealership to pick up our car, we were told the keys had been locked in it. We went to the service department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the driver's side door. As I watched from the passenger side, I instinctively tried the door handle and discovered that it was unlocked. "Hey," I announced to the technician, "It's open!" To which he replied, "I know - I already got that side."

blinc
10-28-2000, 08:45 AM
Get out! The credit card one! Aagh! I had the EXACT same thing happen to me at a store, had a new Fleet card and forgot to sign it. The lady also added that it helps to compare the signatures, in case the card was stolen. Uhm.. if I had stolen the wallet, then of course the signature on the card and the receipt would be the same, wouldn't it? Dur dee dur. Oh this is too funny! {toothy}

kezzer
10-28-2000, 10:35 AM
I've had people tell me to sign my card then too! I always right see id on the back so they'll check it and they can see the signature on my license. How many do you think actually check the id? They're all so worried about me not signing it!

blinc
10-28-2000, 07:50 PM
Boy do I know where you're coming from Kezzer... I've only been asked to show any other form of ID once! It could be anyone's credit card - and NO they usually don't check the back to compare signatures. That instills a bit of faith in the system, huh? Of course, people usually report their card stolen but until the notice gets made AND goes through, it's free game!

Karenluvs6
12-17-2000, 08:45 AM
For those of you patiently awaiting more, new 'True Idiot Stories'....Here they are!


EMERGENCY ROOM IDIOTS:

I am a medical student currently doing a rotation in
toxicology at the poison control center. Today, this woman
called in very upset because she caught her little daughter
eating ants. I quickly reassured her that the ants are not
harmful and there would be no need to bring her daughter
into the hospital. She calmed down, and at the end of the
conversation happened to mention that she gave her
daughter some ant poison to eat in order to kill the ants.
I told her that she better bring her daughter in to the
Emergency Room right away.


HIGHWAY IDIOTS:

I was in a car dealership when a brand new motor home
was towed into the garage. The front of the vehicle was in
dire need of repair and the whole thing generally looked like
an extra in "Twister." I asked the manager what had
happened. He told me that the driver had set the cruise
control, then went into the back to make a sandwich.


NEIGHBORHOOD IDIOTS:

I live in a semi-rural area. We recently had a new neighbor
call the local township administrative office to request
removal of the Deer crossing sign on our road. The reason?
Too many deer were being hit by cars and he no longer
wanted them to cross there!



COMPUTER IDIOTS:

My neighbor works in the operations department in the
central office of a large bank. Employees out in the field call
him when they have problems with their computers. One
night he got a call from a woman in one of the branch banks
who had this question:"I've got smoke coming from the back
of my terminal. Do you guys have a fire downtown?"


AIRBORNE IDIOTS:

Seems that a year ago, some Boeing employees in the field
decided to steal a life raft from one of the 747s. They were
successful in getting it out of the plane and home. When
they took it for a float on the river, they were quite surprised by a Coast Guard helicopter coming towards them. It turned
out that the chopper was homing in on the emergency
locator that is activated when the raft is inflated. They are
no longer employed there.

kezzer
12-17-2000, 02:14 PM
Ugh! I can't believe someone would give ant poisoning to a kid, just cuz they ate the ants. DUH! Geez! Some people!