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dreuby
08-20-2003, 03:18 PM
True cuttings from British newspapers

Commenting on a complaint from a Mr Arthur Purdey about a large gas bill, a spokesman for North West Gas said: "We agree it was rather high for the time of year. It's possible Mr Purdey has been charged for the gas used up during the explosion that destroyed his house." (Daily Telegraph)

Irish police are being handicapped in a search for a stolen van, because they cannot issue a description. It's a Special Branch vehicle and they don't want the public to know what it looks like. (The Guardian).

A young girl who was blown out to sea on a set of inflatable teeth was rescued by a man on an inflatable lobster. A coastguard spokesman commented: "This sort of thing is all too common." (The Times)

At the height of the gale, the harbour master radioed a coastguard on the spot and asked him to estimate the wind speed. He replied he was sorry, but he didn't have a gauge. However, if it was any help, the wind had just blown his Land Rover off the cliff. (Aberdeen Evening Express)

Mrs Irene Graham of Thorpe Avenue, Boscombe, delighted the audience with her reminiscence of the German prisoner of war who was sent each week to do her garden. He was repatriated at the end of 1945, she recalled, "He'd always seemed a nice friendly chap, but when the crocuses came up in the middle of our lawn in February 1946, they spelt out 'Heil Hitler'."

theyeti
08-20-2003, 10:06 PM
{loltext} you crazy Brits ;) :D

There's a couple English soccer/football websites that I go to regularly... I can tell you this, you guys have a few crazy writers...:)

jamesglewisf
08-28-2003, 01:08 AM
Another thread I missed.

Those are some good ones.

dreuby
08-28-2003, 03:25 AM
Originally posted by theyeti
{loltext} you crazy Brits ;) :D

There's a couple English soccer/football websites that I go to regularly... I can tell you this, you guys have a few crazy writers...:)

heading all those footballs has addled their brains :D

theyeti
09-02-2003, 10:24 PM
{dizzy} *stumbles around*

Berta
09-10-2003, 08:40 PM
Those are good.

Grimey
11-17-2003, 11:09 PM
Give us some more.

jamesglewisf
11-19-2003, 11:38 PM
I agree. Give us some more. How did you find them the first time?

dreuby
11-20-2003, 08:31 AM
They were in my Church magazine, I think.