Cheating

[augustangel]

What do you think constitutes as cheating?

[augustangel]

if u hug someone other than your lover, or maybe a harmless kiss on the cheek? or what if u have a 'best friend' other than the person you're with. do you think that would be cheating? that includes spending a large amount of time with them...

[jamesglewisf]

I think if you're not sure, it is probably cheating.

[augustangel]

u could see something as not cheating, but ur mate thinks it is, but what you think is cheating?

[jamesglewisf]

I don't think married men should have female best friends and vice-versa. I play it safe and don't spend time alone with other women, excluding blood-relatives or women who are old enough to be my grandparent. Then I don't have to worry about being tempted to cheat.

[augustangel]

tempted? if u love someone then temptation shouldnt be able to take over.

I don't think married men should have female best friends and vice-versa.

you think that way because of the tempation to cheat? of do u think that way because u feel their wife should be everything?

[theyeti]

I think you've got to come to some sort of a mutual agreement with your partner. Whatever it is, as long as there is some sort of shared understanding.

[Joelwrow]

Cheating is intimate contact with another. No more, no less. Intimate contact can be holding hands at a bar, or it is sex at a hotel. The point is, intimate contact is a purposeful action put forth by mutual parties to illicit a feeling of "togetherness"

Are all hugs cheating - no. That would violate the condition. However, if two people lay in bed "hugging", wishing that you were "hugging naked" -- Yes, you are cheating.

Again, it has to be mutual. If Jack wants to sleep with Jill, and Jill thinks Jack is just a guy who wants to go for a drink – then Jill has not cheated. If Jack wants to sleep with Jill, and Jill wants to sleep with Jack and the same occurs -- you have reached a different threshold.

Ultimately, once we boil off the BS – as adults – we all KNOW when we cheated. Any parsing of the words/actions is for absolution purposes only.

[Joelwrow]

Originally posted by augustangel
tempted? if u love someone then temptation shouldnt be able to take over.



you think that way because of the tempation to cheat? of do u think that way because u feel their wife should be everything?


Come on -- Be fair. What is this "if you love someone" rubbish. A smart person knows to avoid temptation. Guys do not have sex for "love", they sex for pleasure. -- and here's a shocker, neither do woman most of the time.

[theyeti]

Well, um, okay... yes, most guys I know are shallow, but not all! There are a few of us "deep" ones out there! ;)

[Joelwrow]

Oh sure......when you saw your wife across the room for the first time you said......wow..look at her mind.

Come on -- lets not call nature shallow. Just be honest with the world.

[theyeti]

Now that you mention it, I suppose that's why blind people are incapable of feeling love or being good spouses.

[Joelwrow]

Originally posted by theyeti
Now that you mention it, I suppose that's why blind people are incapable of feeling love or being good spouses.

What does one have to do with the other? Can you stay in the same scope please? I said, sex is about pleasure, not love. Blind people have the ability to seek pleasure don’t they? We are talking about the nature of sex here. Lets not expand the scope to ridiculous levels. We are not talking about love, parenting, or being a good spouse. We are talking about sex. Where did I say that LOVE is sight based? I insinuated that attraction is initially sight based, and if you disagree with that, well, you need to take that up with nature. Clearly, the honesty is throwing you off.

I am sure you "make love" all the time to your wife. Your some special guy, I mean, you actually are not having an orgasm for YOUR pleasure – rather it’s a GIFT of LOVE to your wife. Wow, some gift! I am sure that when you lost your virginity, you anxiously awaited to moment to "prove your love." -- Get real. You wanted to have sex. I was 16 once too.

Why won't you just be honest?

Now, you can believe that you are on some higher sexual plane, but the truth of the matter is -- if sex lost its pleasure, you and your wife would see a dramatic fall in occurrence. WHY? Would it be because of a loss of love? No -- its because PLEASURE is the driving force behind it.

Pleasure either through giving, or pleasure through receiving.

[theyeti]

Joelwrow:
What does one have to do with the other? Can you stay in the same scope please? I said, sex is about pleasure, not love. Blind people have the ability to seek pleasure don’t they? We are talking about the nature of sex here. Lets not expand the scope to ridiculous levels. We are not talking about love, parenting, or being a good spouse. We are talking about sex. Where did I say that LOVE is sight based? I insinuated that attraction is initially sight based...
Oh sure......when you saw your wife across the room for the first time you said......wow..look at her mind.
Guys do not have sex for "love"...
I think you've been answering your own question. You stated that sex is not connected to love in any way. You may not be talking about such an intimate subject, but I am. Then you stated that attraction - I assume by this you mean sexual attraction - is based solely on sight.

Conversely, I believe sex, in its best form, is connected to love in a very, very meaningful way. So, if the first step in the process that leads to sex is attraction, surely there is a seed of love in that as well.

So, it has been said that love is sight-based - if you believe in a power of attraction deeper than pretty pictures. If you don't, I would say you are cheating yourself.

BTW, I do not have a wife. If you take the time to read my profile, you'll also see that I have recent experience being 16, also - I was 16 about seven months ago. I hope my memory hasn't faded!