November 2.....humor

[Karenluvs6]

{popworm}

There was a middle-aged couple who had two stunningly beautiful blonde teen-aged daughters. They decided to try one last time for the son they always wanted. After months of trying, the wife became pregnant and sure enough, nine months later delivered a healthy baby boy.

The joyful father rushed to the nursery to see his new son. He took one look and was horrified to see the ugliest child he has ever seen. He went to his wife and said that there was no way that he could be the father of that child.

"Look at the two beautiful daughters I fathered." Then he gave her a stern look and asked, "Have you been fooling around on me?"

The wife just smiled sweetly and said, "Not this time."


{benetton}

Ray had just reached his 175th birthday last week. Surrounded by reporters, he was asked, "Excuse me, sir, but how did you come to live to be 175?"

Ray answered, "It was easy. I just never argue with anyone."

The reporter shot back, "That's crazy. It had to be something else -- diet, meditation, or *something*. Just not arguing won't keep you alive for 175 years!"

The old fella stared hard at the reporter for several seconds.

Then he shrugged. "Hmmm. Maybe you're right."

[Debby]

A christian man was having a hard time struggling with losing his farm, and he prayed and he prayed...and soon his farm was going great and he was making money head over heels, and his next door neighbor asked him how he did it...and the christian man replied..." Well I prayed and prayed and I asked God to help me out, to show me a sign of what to do...so I opened my bible, and closed my eyes, and put my finger right in the middle of the page, and when I opened my eyes, my finger was on the word wheat. So I went out and I planted nothing but wheat and it has been the most profitable year I have ever had!!" So the neighbor says, " Well I think I will try that!!! Maybe God will show me a sign to, because I am about to lose my farn also!!" So then a few weeks later the christian man runs into his neighbor, and he is looking rather down. The christian man says, "Well didn't you do what I suggested?....what happened?" and the neighbor man looks down at the ground and says..."Well yes...I got out my bible, dusted it off and then I closed my eyes, opened it up, and put my finger right in the middle of the page." and the christain man says, "well what did it say?".... and the neighbor man said, "It said chapter 13".