Death in the Family

[Justawoman]

I read the description under the title on the front page. How do we handle death in the family? I wish someone would tell me that right now. I spent yesterday afternoon and well up into the night with my Dad's brother. He found his wife out in the yard dead yesterday. It was hard being strong for him. His children live about 45 minutes from Muleshoe. My mom is sick, so she asked me to go over and be with Unky R. He is my favorite uncle of all time. He called my mom after calling 911. He has always known he can count on my mom or me to come help them when they needed. So I got there in time to see the whole legal side of dealing with a deceased person. I stayed and made the phone calls for my uncle. I cleaned his house and did the laundry an pretty much let him sigh and wonder outloud. I fed him and held his hand. I often wondered about their relationship. She was not the most friendliest person to outsiders and his children, from his 1st marriage, really didn't like her. But as I was dusting I noticed my uncle had already started giving her valentine's day gifts. In his own handwriting the card on the vase said," I love you sweetie." He had started updating the appliances in the kitchen for her. I wanted to cry so much. I eventually came home when his children all showed up. I can't seem to get the image of her lying in the yard out of my head. So if I am not posting on here for a few days I wanted you all to know I am over there and at a funeral. It was so unexpected. Go tell the one's you love how much they mean to you. We haven't a clue how many hours we have left.

[Madge]

Thank you for that, J.A.W. How true that is. One of my aunts passed away suddenly a few years back, one who some of the family thought was a saint on earth but some others thought was an invasive, spiteful, jealous, mean witch. In fact, she would take those two sides and pit them against each other for fun. Guess which side I was on?

Anyway, I was pretty shocked to hear she passed, and her husband was always such a sweet and unassuming man that my heart immediately went out to him. He adored her - she was everything in the world to him, and I couldn't understand that. We gathered as a family and in support of my Uncle, with our differing feelings "buried" not too far from the surface ready to do emotional battle, when the funniest thing happened. We started to share memories. Good ones of when we were kids and the picnics and Holidays we had at Aunt Val's house. Then I started to cry - something I did not expect to do. In as much as I never felt close to this woman, she was a part of my life and I knew I would miss her.

After the funeral, the Director handed us all Mass cards with a Gladiolus bulb attached. It read something like "from Death comes Life - plant with Love". Every year the most beautiful, bright orange flower emerges, and I smile and stand to look at it every time I see it, ever mindful of how short a time I will have it, until the next season. I appreciate that flower and its' beautiful blossom. That's life, Frappers, in a nutshell.

Don't take anything for granted. Can you imagine - a woman who I felt shunned by, someone who I thought didn't really care for me, someone who I thought I didn't like as a person taught me one of the most valuable lessons of my life. Thanks, Aunt Val.