Karenluvs6
11-07-2000, 01:37 PM
"A death in the family"
There was a blonde at work and she got a phone call and when she
hung up she started crying and crying and her boss came in and asked
"what's the matter?" The blonde said " my dad just died." Then the
phone rang again and the blonde answered it and she started crying
again and her boss asked again " What's the matter " The blonde
"that was my sister and her dad just died too"
-----------------------------------------------------------
"English Channel"
A Blonde, A Brunette, and a redhead were getting ready to swim the
english channel using the breaststroke. They started swimming and the
Redhead got in first. The Brunette came in second by about 15 minutes,
and lastly came the Blonde, after about a few days. When the press
wanted to know what took her so long, she replied, "Umm... I don't
mean to be a party pooper, but they were using their arms."
-----------------------------------------------------------
While taking a routine vandalism report at an elementary school,
a policeman was interrupted by a little girl about six years
old. Looking up and down at his uniform, she asked, "Are you
a cop?"
"Yes," he answered, and continued writing the report.
"My mother said if I ever needed help I should ask the police.
Is that right?"
"Yes, that's right," he said.
"Well, then," she said as she extended her foot toward him,
"would you please tie my shoe?"
-----------------------------------------------------------
It was the end of the day when I parked my police van in front
of the station. As I gathered my equipment, my K-9 partner,
Jake, was barking, and I saw a little boy staring in at me.
"Is that a dog you got back there?" he asked.
"It sure is," I replied.
Puzzled, the boy looked at me and then towards the back of the
van. Finally he said, "What'd he do?"
------------------------------------------------------------
A man walks in to find his five-year-old son roughly jerking
their dog's leash. Fuming he yells, "Do you want to tell me
how sorry you are?!"
"I don't know," said the kid. "How much did you see?""
-----------------------------------------------------------
When my wife quit work to take care of our new baby daughter,
countless hours of peek-a-boo and other games slowly took their
toll. One evening she smacked her bare toes on the corner of a
dresser and, grabbing her foot, sank to the floor. I rushed to
her side and asked where it hurt.
She looked at me through tear-filled eyes and managed to moan,
"It's the piggy that ate roast beef."
-----------------------------------------------------------
My neighbor, a primary school teacher, asked one of her pupils,
an adopted child, how he felt about his mother's pregnancy.
"Wonderful," the student replied, "and this is her first baby
from scratch!"
------------------------------------------------------------
these jokes were taken from various emails that I have received today, from different joke sites.
There was a blonde at work and she got a phone call and when she
hung up she started crying and crying and her boss came in and asked
"what's the matter?" The blonde said " my dad just died." Then the
phone rang again and the blonde answered it and she started crying
again and her boss asked again " What's the matter " The blonde
"that was my sister and her dad just died too"
-----------------------------------------------------------
"English Channel"
A Blonde, A Brunette, and a redhead were getting ready to swim the
english channel using the breaststroke. They started swimming and the
Redhead got in first. The Brunette came in second by about 15 minutes,
and lastly came the Blonde, after about a few days. When the press
wanted to know what took her so long, she replied, "Umm... I don't
mean to be a party pooper, but they were using their arms."
-----------------------------------------------------------
While taking a routine vandalism report at an elementary school,
a policeman was interrupted by a little girl about six years
old. Looking up and down at his uniform, she asked, "Are you
a cop?"
"Yes," he answered, and continued writing the report.
"My mother said if I ever needed help I should ask the police.
Is that right?"
"Yes, that's right," he said.
"Well, then," she said as she extended her foot toward him,
"would you please tie my shoe?"
-----------------------------------------------------------
It was the end of the day when I parked my police van in front
of the station. As I gathered my equipment, my K-9 partner,
Jake, was barking, and I saw a little boy staring in at me.
"Is that a dog you got back there?" he asked.
"It sure is," I replied.
Puzzled, the boy looked at me and then towards the back of the
van. Finally he said, "What'd he do?"
------------------------------------------------------------
A man walks in to find his five-year-old son roughly jerking
their dog's leash. Fuming he yells, "Do you want to tell me
how sorry you are?!"
"I don't know," said the kid. "How much did you see?""
-----------------------------------------------------------
When my wife quit work to take care of our new baby daughter,
countless hours of peek-a-boo and other games slowly took their
toll. One evening she smacked her bare toes on the corner of a
dresser and, grabbing her foot, sank to the floor. I rushed to
her side and asked where it hurt.
She looked at me through tear-filled eyes and managed to moan,
"It's the piggy that ate roast beef."
-----------------------------------------------------------
My neighbor, a primary school teacher, asked one of her pupils,
an adopted child, how he felt about his mother's pregnancy.
"Wonderful," the student replied, "and this is her first baby
from scratch!"
------------------------------------------------------------
these jokes were taken from various emails that I have received today, from different joke sites.