It Takes Two Baby, It Takes Two

[Justawoman]

Okay so music is always in my head. But that line, from that song, seemed so appropriate. While on Frappyland this morning I noticed we haven't had any real updates in this section in awhile so I went on a google quest. I typed in "Love and Marriage". I was immediately bombarded with everything from "Frustrated Sex Life" to personal webpages on individuals thoughts on the subject. Off to the side, in the buy it section of links, I noticed this heading:


How to Save Your Marriage (http://www.google.com/pagead/iclk?adurl=http://www.savemymarriagenow.com%3Fi%3D85&sa=l&ai=B_I7_s5xOQrTpO7OW4AGl_fjDBu3P-gKQ0fONAYrokRzgxQgQAhgCKAg4AEiROZgBxEygAbXinv8DyAEB&num=2)
Even if you've lost all hope and
you're the only one who will try.
www.SaveMyMarriageNow.com

I clicked on the highlighted link out of curiosity. I immediately began to think," how can one person alone save a relationship? Doesn't it take two to keep a bond strong?" What are your thoughts on this? Can husband or wife save their marriage, that is in jeopardy, when they are the only one interested in saving it? I don't think so. I think it takes a mutual commitment and a willingness to share yourselves equally with each other. Any thoughts on this subject?

[kezzer]

I think it has to be mutual. One person can try, but if the other does nothing to help it just seems the one would be going round in circles.

[raybeck]

My sister and her DH are going through this very thing right now. She wants to make it work and he doesn't seem interested! You would think after 34 years of marriage there would be something there to make you want to save it. They are both Christians, so I am having a really hard time with it (not to say Christians don't get divorces and have the same problems as everyone else). I would just like to think maybe they have more sense or something, anything, don't just chunk 34 years away!!! He is so married to his job it is unbelieveable. And, yes, he has a very important job (been on Good Morning American, many magazines, etc.), but you would think he was more important than the President of the United States (even he has time for his family)...anyway, didn't mean to go off, it just makes me sick to think of them not being a couple after all these years...and the pain my sister is having to deal with!!!

[Hannamoren]

I don't know if I have the energi or WILL to rescue a marriage if my husband did not want to continue. Strugle with this all on my own, and him just being half-harted? Nope, maybe I am naive and maybe I would think different if I was having this problem, I don't know. But right now I feel it is no way you can do it, or SHOULD do it if the other one doesn't want to.

[raybeck]

My sister has finally come to that conclusion, too, Hanna. Once the shock was over and reality set in, she came to her senses!!! It is still a long road ahead for her after 34 years of marriage, but she is young, only 53 and she can definately start over and hopefully, with someone that will be faithful to her!!! I'm trying to be as supportive as I can for her, she is doing quite well right now, he actually filed for the divorce last week!!! It's a tough deal, anyway you look at it!

[Hannamoren]

Some years ago my sister's husband and my brothers wife were having an affair. This led to 2 divorces at the same time in my familly, + anger between my sister and brother, both blaming eachother. We were very glad to see my brother-in-law go, he was a terrible man to my sister. My brothers wife I feels sorry for. She has to spend her days with him(they now live together. ) I have seen what it has done to my siblings, and the only thing I can say, is that we must stand by eachother. Let your sister know she has somebody if she needs to talk.

[raybeck]

Hanna you are so kind!!! I cannot imagine going through what your family had to endure, that must have been a living hell! My DH and I have been married for 34 years on June 11th, he turned 19 the day before on the 10th and I was right out of High School and 17!!! Thank the Lord, he took care of us and we are very happy, the odds at such a young age were not with us. We got through it all, including college, etc., but I would have never let one of my DD's marry at such a young age, and they had no desire to do that anyway! Again, thanks for your concern, I appreciate it and I know my DS will too.

[Hannamoren]

You have an aniversary on Hannas birthday! My husband and I got together when I had just turned 17, and got married, had a baby and building house when I was 19 and he was 22. So here we are, almost 20 years later, still (if not even more) he is the love of my life. It is strange how love change after so many years? It actually get better!!!! But as you said, the odds are not the best, but there are some people(like you and me) that just are blessed!

[raybeck]

Hanna, when we had our first daughter I was 19, too...how funny, we had only been married 1 1/2 years, but I wanted a baby (and I was only a baby, myself), anyway, needless to say the second daughter came along 5 1/2 years later, which really has been a blessing having the age difference between them. They are very, very close to one another now that they are all grown up. I agree, after all these years DH and I are happier than ever and that truly is a blessing from the Lord!!! You were lucky we didn't get to build our first house until we had been married 8 years!