Hubby can't accept gifts....

[cool chic]

My hubby has a real hard time accepting gifts from my parents. He always thinks that he owes them something when they do something for us. Of course that isn't the case with them. They usually want nothing in exchange.

My parents bought a new computer this year, and are already sick of it. They want a new one...with ALL the bells and whistles - without having to upgrade it.
My mom called this morning and told me to expect their (old - haha) computer on my doorstep this weekend. That my father was going out and buying a new one. I suggested that I would BUY it off of them...but like usual she refused, telling me that it would only sit in the corner of the basement (yeah right)! So, now I have to tell my husband that we are receiving this computer...free of charge...he has a hard time accepting things like this - without feeling indebted. He says he dosn't want to accept charity. EEEE. How do I get him to realize that this is not charity, this is just the type of people my paretns are. If they don't give us the computer, they would find someone else to GIVE it to.

And boy oh boy could we use a new computer!! We are still in the dark ages, running a 486!!!

[jamesglewisf]

Some people have the gift of giving, just like some people have the gift of wisdom or administration or service. When I want advice, I go to someone who is wise. When I want help organizing something, I look for someone with the gift of administration. Why? Because allowing them to use their gift helps meet their needs. They actually have a need to use their gift. It makes them happy and helps them feel fulfilled.

My wife and I have the gift of giving. Just today we gave some friends who are visiting Dallas a three-night stay at a local hotel with two rooms. We have given money to several couples who were in need. We support four missionaries and give regularly to our church. It is not possible for us to exercise our gift of giving if those we try to give to reject it.

Accepting a gift graciously not only shows self confidence and maturity, it allows the recipient to give great happiness to the giver.

I used to have a problem accepting gifts from my wife's parents. Then I realized a couple of things. First off, I was denying her mom her opportunity to exercise her gift of giving. Her mom is probably where my wife learned a lot about giving. Second, I was denying her dad the opportunity to provide for his baby. He will always be her dad and always like giving her things. It doesn't mean that he doubts me, he just loves his baby.

[Karenluvs6]

sounds like he's got a case of masculine pride.
Beezwax used to be like that to...If anyone wanted to give us anything, he would say, "what, do they think we can't afford to buy one ourselves?"
It was kind of annoying for a time, but I just ignored him.
I told him, "ok..you don't have to take it, but I am!...I'm not too proud!"
He eventually got over it....Now, he uses my creedo: "If it's for free, it's for me...If it costs, get lost!"

[cool chic]

Thankyou for the advice! I ended up telling my hubby that he can keep his computer, and I will take the new one! He said "No, No, No...I will set it up tonight!" (With a big smile on his face)! He said he still wants to do something for my parents...like split their firewood...still a good deal!!!

Hooray Hooray...I have a new(er) computer!!!
I can't believe how fast it runs too! Now I just have to learn how to type faster so I can keep up with it!!!

[Karenluvs6]

well good for you!!
I'm glad to hear it Coolchic.


I wish I had a new puter...{bawling}