Karenluvs6
11-18-2000, 01:01 PM
+--------------Bizarre Political Insults --------------+
"He makes George Bush seem like a personality" - Jackie Mason
on John Major.
"He is a sheep in sheep's clothing" - Winston Churchill on
Clement Attlee.
"Winston, if I were your wife, I would put poison in your
coffee." "Nancy, if I were your husband, I would drink it."
- A conversation between Nancy Astor and Winston Churchill.
"He could not see a belt without hitting below it." - Margot
Asquith on David Lloyd George.
"Richard Nixon impeached himself. He gave us Gerald Ford as
his revenge." - U.S. politician Bella Abzug on Tricky Dickie.
"Nixon's motto was, 'If two wrongs don't make a right, try
three." - U.S. writer Norman Cousins.
"Gerry Ford is so dumb that he can't fart and chew gum at the
same time." - former U.S. President Lyndon B. Johnson.
"He is not only a bore, but he bores England." - Malcom
Muggeridge on Anthony Eden.
"I wouldn't say she is open-minded on the Middle East, so
much as empty-headed. She probably thinks Sinai is the
plural of sinus." - Jonathan Aitken on Margaret Hatcher.
"Harry Truman proves that old adage that any man can become
President of the United States." - U.S. politician Norman
Thomas.
"A shiver looking for a spine to run up." - Harold Wilson on
Edward Heath
------------------------------------------------------------
SCRANTON, Pennsylvania - Patricia Ryan, a stripper at the
Cabaret Nightclub, had a routine that kept audiences riveted.
During her performance she would "breathe fire" using 151-
proof rum. Unfortunately, during one performance, some of
the alcohol dribbled onto her breasts and ignited, giving
her second degree burns. Ryan subsequently sued the club,
claiming they didn't have the proper safety equipment and
that fellow employees didn't act quickly enough to help her.
The now ex-stripper was awarded $360,000. That's comes to
about 180 thousand per breast
------------------------------------------------------------
MIAMI, Florida - Miami police sought to "get to the bottom"
of a case where a 16-year-old student accused a US school
official of having sexual relations with her in his apartment
after school. The girl reportedly told police that she could
prove it happened by disclosing the fact that the dean had a
distinguishing birthmark on his buttocks. So the police, armed
with a search warrant, ordered the dean to drop 'em. Whereupon
they found the exact birthmark described by the girl. The dean
claims the girl made up the story about having sex with him
after he rejected her advances. The dean has been charged
with two counts of familial custodial sexual battery and has
been placed on administrative leave by his school. His lawyer
has told reporters that he maintains his innocence.
------------------------------------------------------------
"He makes George Bush seem like a personality" - Jackie Mason
on John Major.
"He is a sheep in sheep's clothing" - Winston Churchill on
Clement Attlee.
"Winston, if I were your wife, I would put poison in your
coffee." "Nancy, if I were your husband, I would drink it."
- A conversation between Nancy Astor and Winston Churchill.
"He could not see a belt without hitting below it." - Margot
Asquith on David Lloyd George.
"Richard Nixon impeached himself. He gave us Gerald Ford as
his revenge." - U.S. politician Bella Abzug on Tricky Dickie.
"Nixon's motto was, 'If two wrongs don't make a right, try
three." - U.S. writer Norman Cousins.
"Gerry Ford is so dumb that he can't fart and chew gum at the
same time." - former U.S. President Lyndon B. Johnson.
"He is not only a bore, but he bores England." - Malcom
Muggeridge on Anthony Eden.
"I wouldn't say she is open-minded on the Middle East, so
much as empty-headed. She probably thinks Sinai is the
plural of sinus." - Jonathan Aitken on Margaret Hatcher.
"Harry Truman proves that old adage that any man can become
President of the United States." - U.S. politician Norman
Thomas.
"A shiver looking for a spine to run up." - Harold Wilson on
Edward Heath
------------------------------------------------------------
SCRANTON, Pennsylvania - Patricia Ryan, a stripper at the
Cabaret Nightclub, had a routine that kept audiences riveted.
During her performance she would "breathe fire" using 151-
proof rum. Unfortunately, during one performance, some of
the alcohol dribbled onto her breasts and ignited, giving
her second degree burns. Ryan subsequently sued the club,
claiming they didn't have the proper safety equipment and
that fellow employees didn't act quickly enough to help her.
The now ex-stripper was awarded $360,000. That's comes to
about 180 thousand per breast
------------------------------------------------------------
MIAMI, Florida - Miami police sought to "get to the bottom"
of a case where a 16-year-old student accused a US school
official of having sexual relations with her in his apartment
after school. The girl reportedly told police that she could
prove it happened by disclosing the fact that the dean had a
distinguishing birthmark on his buttocks. So the police, armed
with a search warrant, ordered the dean to drop 'em. Whereupon
they found the exact birthmark described by the girl. The dean
claims the girl made up the story about having sex with him
after he rejected her advances. The dean has been charged
with two counts of familial custodial sexual battery and has
been placed on administrative leave by his school. His lawyer
has told reporters that he maintains his innocence.
------------------------------------------------------------