Help!! Again!!! Need advice on meeting his ex

[canuckchika]

Thanks for all the responses to my last post... but i need some more advice..

I just found out yesterday that my boyfriend and I are going to a party on Friday for his friends birthday and his ex-wife will be attending. I do not feel totally comfortable about this situation, but most people think it will help. My boyfriend knows how I feel but also promised to attend this party as he has not been attending since we started going out because he knew i wasn't comfortable. He also promised that we are only going for a couple hours, and two drinks. I just need some advice on how to handle this party, his ex. I just wanted to add I will know no one but my boyfriend at the party as they were his and his ex's friends. Any advice will help, i am not dealing well.

[Justawoman]

Just be yourself. Don't let the uncomfortableness you feel make you do something you will regret. Just think before you speak to her and let the other folks think what they will. They will anyway without any thought about you and your feelings.

[nicoleabraira]

Wow, I feel for you! I can't imagine you could prepare yourself for such a situation without knowing what to expect from these people. For example, are they very close friends? Did your boyfriend end the relationship with his ex or did she? Are they on good terms? etc. I hope your boyfriend gives you some guidance in how to approach his friends and ex and is supportive of you while you're at the party. There's always the possibility that the ex won't even be interested in interacting with either of you. One Valentines Day years ago my husband (boyfriend at the time) and I ran into his ex at a restaurant. The meeting was brief and she was very sweet, but had I known I would run into her, I would've stewed about it for days! My advice is don't worry too much about it. He's with you now!

However, if it's very important to you to leave a really great impression, concentrate on doing so with his friends, not so much the ex. I would 1) not get too drunk, 2) smile a lot and be open to conversation (i.e., don't be too clingy to your boyfriend - let him know you're supportive of his friendships), 3) show the friends you're interested in getting to know them by asking benign questions and LISTENING, 4) not talk too much about yourself unless they're interested, and 5) remember their names. Good luck!

[pack momma]

just make some new "friends" be careful what you say, (it WILL get back), don't be clingy and have fun. really, have fun. (you have him, she doesn't) and most important, no matter what happens, don't allow it to turn into a fight when you get home (he will talk with her, or she will make it her business to talk with him) prepare to handle it before you go. good luck

[jamesglewisf]

Yeah. Just take it easy and be polite.

[canuckchika]

Hi all,

Thanks for the advice...hopefully it will be helpful tonight!! I really appericate all your help...and I will remember to have fun

[ajmartinez]

canuckchika - I hope things went well for you at the party.

[tface]

I know it's after the fact, but let me tell you a little story... My stepsisters engagment party...at her mothers house. My mom was the new wife, and of course she was freaked. So she started drinking to calm her nerves, and before you know it, white-lady-bad-dancer-drunk has taken over the patio. Right before she passed out. So yeah, don't get drunk.

[Grimey]

I'm amazed that people use alcohol to calm nerves. The potential for disaster is too great.

[tobie883]

This was the first time I have gone online to search for advice of this nature and the first one I see was yours....and it is exactly the situation I will be dealing with One week from tonight. Meeting My boyfriend's ex at a party of all their friends. Only knowing my boyfriend.

I am very curious to know how it turned out for you. and if anyone has anymore advice.

Thanks