Karenluvs6
11-20-2000, 06:37 AM
Joke of the day...
A minister has just died and is standing on line waiting to be judged
and admitted to Heaven. While waiting he asks the man in front of him
about himself. "I'm a taxi driver from New York City."
Suddenly the angel standing at the gate calls out next, and the taxi
driver steps up. The angel hands him a golden staff and a cornucopia
of fruits, cheeses and wine and lets him pass. The taxi driver is
quite pleased, and proceeds through the gates.
Next, the minister steps up to the angel and the angel hands him a
wooden staff and some bread and water. The minister is very concerned
and asks the angel, "That guy is a taxi driver and gets a golden staff
and a cornucopia! I spend my entire life as a minister and get
nothing! How can that be?"
The angel replies, "Up here we judge on results, all of your people
sleep through your sermons, in his taxi, they pray."
------------------------------------------------------------
The father of five children had won a toy at a raffle. He
called his kids together to ask which one should have the
present.
"Who is the most obedient?" he asked. "Who never talks back to
mother? Who does everything she says?"
Five small voices answered in unison. "Okay, dad, you get the
toy."
------------------------------------------------------------
A man was arrested for selling home-stilled whiskey. His lawyer
put him on the stand and asked the jurors to look carefully at
his client.
"Now, Ladies and Gentleman of the jury," concluded the lawyer,
"you've looked carefully at the defendant. Can you sit there
in the jury box and honestly believe that if my client had
ANY whiskey he would sell it?"
A minister has just died and is standing on line waiting to be judged
and admitted to Heaven. While waiting he asks the man in front of him
about himself. "I'm a taxi driver from New York City."
Suddenly the angel standing at the gate calls out next, and the taxi
driver steps up. The angel hands him a golden staff and a cornucopia
of fruits, cheeses and wine and lets him pass. The taxi driver is
quite pleased, and proceeds through the gates.
Next, the minister steps up to the angel and the angel hands him a
wooden staff and some bread and water. The minister is very concerned
and asks the angel, "That guy is a taxi driver and gets a golden staff
and a cornucopia! I spend my entire life as a minister and get
nothing! How can that be?"
The angel replies, "Up here we judge on results, all of your people
sleep through your sermons, in his taxi, they pray."
------------------------------------------------------------
The father of five children had won a toy at a raffle. He
called his kids together to ask which one should have the
present.
"Who is the most obedient?" he asked. "Who never talks back to
mother? Who does everything she says?"
Five small voices answered in unison. "Okay, dad, you get the
toy."
------------------------------------------------------------
A man was arrested for selling home-stilled whiskey. His lawyer
put him on the stand and asked the jurors to look carefully at
his client.
"Now, Ladies and Gentleman of the jury," concluded the lawyer,
"you've looked carefully at the defendant. Can you sit there
in the jury box and honestly believe that if my client had
ANY whiskey he would sell it?"