5 Things you should know about Teens

[Justawoman]

Four out of every five students have consumed alcohol (more than a few sips) by the end of high school.
In 2002, 53% of twelfth graders reported having used an illicit drug in their lifetime.
Suicide is the third leading cause of death among youths ages 15 to 20.
By age 19, two out of every three boys—and girls—have had sex.
Every year, 3 million teens get a sexually transmitted disease (STD).—Statistics excerpted from Students Against Destructive Decisions.

http://www.sadd.org/stats.htm

[jamesglewisf]

I heard some stats over the weekend, but I can't say anything about their veracity:

82% of teens whose parents drink will drink themselves.
72% of teens whose parents don't drink will not drink either.
1 in 12 people who drink have a problem with alcohol.

The point of the stats was that even if you have no problem with drinking (i.e. you're not an alcoholic), why would you want to risk the possibility that your kid will be one of the 1 in 12?

[jfahler]

The point of the stats was that even if you have no problem with drinking (i.e. you're not an alcoholic), why would you want to risk the possibility that your kid will be one of the 1 in 12?

I personally think that our culture blows alcohol consumption out of proportion. Whether it's the party/consumer mentality that uses it too much or the Puritan heritage that uses it too little, our culture hasn't had healthy outlooks on alcohol for quite some time. Why on earth is it that a parent would have to keep a child as far from alcohol as possible in raising him/her? Do you actually think it would work perfectly?

I personally would advocate for healthy instruction on alcohol and drinking. For example, I have a Guinness a day for health (http://www.ivo.se/guinness/health.html) and because I enjoy the taste after I get off work. I'm 21 and see nothing wrong with it. At the same time, I realize that blowing my liver away (as many people I know do) is a very stupid thing to "accomplish" and I adjust my social life for that.

It's just something that involves two things most people sadly lack: 1) good parenting mixed with 2) a healthy outlook on life.

[Justawoman]

And a healthy dose of teaching self discipline. I personally agree with you Mr. J.

[jamesglewisf]

I don't think that it would work perfectly. I think it works about 70% of the time. I like the odds. I don't drink because there are several alcholics, including dead ones, in my family tree. I don't want to risk that I would be 1 of the 12. I don't want to risk it with my daughter either.

I have already taught her that it is not wrong to drink, just not wise.

Frankly, I think I have a healthy outlook on life and good parenting skills.

[jfahler]

I have already taught her that it is not wrong to drink, just not wise.

Frankly, I think I have a healthy outlook on life and good parenting skills.

I can agree with that and would say that it's up to you whether or not to drink. I don't personally have any alcoholic imulses even when in range of alcohol and consider it something worth having with moderation.

At the same time, I can't stand it when parents keep their children blind and deaf to what alcohol is - like my girlfriend's family did to her and her brother - and in result don't educate them to the fact that it can be used in context of not doing stupid stuff. Her brother ended up in a detox room at the hospital his first night of drinking - 2 weeks before his 21st birthday. Funny thing is that he still goes to bars and has no problem getting smashed after that. It just didn't work, and in my opinoin the family situation made things worse.

[dreuby]

This is our national curriculum requirement:

Drug, alcohol and tobacco education is a part of science lessons in the National Curriculum - 5 to 7 year olds learn about the role of drugs as medicines; 7 to 11 year olds learn that alcohol, tobacco and other drugs can have harmful effects; 11 to 14 year olds learn how the misuse of solvents, tobacco and other drugs affects health; and 14 to 16 year olds learn about the effects of solvents, tobacco, alcohol and other drugs on body functions. This represents the statutory minimum. Schools are advised to use the non-statutory frameworks for PSHE and Citizenship at Key Stages 1 and 2, PSHE at Key Stages 3 and 4, and the statutory Programmes of Study for Citizenship at Key Stages 3 and 4 as the context for developing drug education further.

But I think parental input is essential - I think one of the main problems for young people is peer pressure.

[Radu]

I'm nearly 22 y/o, and haven't had a sip of alcohol my entire life (other than Nyquil, and whatnot). I know a lot of people think that it's unwise to go to that extreme, and consider me somewhat radical. Personally, I don't have a problem with it. I don't give dirty looks to those who drink, but it's just not something I care to get started with. What's the point? If it's for the carbs, then I can get that by eating bread. If it's to fit-in at social gatherings, then that's just like peer-pressure.

I don't have any statistics to support this claim, but it seems like the number of strict people, like myself, who end up on the other extreme of alcoholism is just as much as those that were taught to do it in moderation.

[Justawoman]

You are so right Radu that there is nothing wrong choosing the way you did. It is your life after all. I see nothing unwise or extreme about it. You are doing what works best for you. As for the naysayers well that is their problem, isn't it?

I think it is hilarous when our girls are invited to a party where there will be drinking. Their friends freak out when they realize our girls tell us, " we are going to a party where there will be booze." They just plan tell us. One party was cancelled because the kid throwing it found out we knew.

We tell our girls that should they be tempted to drink and do indulge call us and we will come pick you up. No matter the time just call, because we want them home in one piece. Even our 21 year old daughter chose to stay at her house on that notorious birthday. She didn't care to out and binge drink or drink for that matter.

So Radu you are not the only young adult with that attitude. Congrats to you.

[jamesglewisf]

My dad offered me a new car when I turned 18 if I never drank, plus $5,000 when I turned 21 if I kept it up. It was a nice gesture, but the real reason I didn't drink was because I saw how much it messed up the lives of the teens around me. I still don't drink.

[Justawoman]

I think when parents take away the mystic behind drinking and present the facts a teen can make the right decision. What gets me are those parents who tell a teen, "never drink" and they never offer a why they shouldn't. Hand a kid a that line and they will find a way to find out why they shouldn't and usually end up making it a habit.

[jfahler]

I think when parents take away the mystic behind drinking...

Thanks... that's what I was trying to get at. When I had my first sip of my first drink, I didn't hear any weird voices or singing angels or see anything bizarre. I didn't expect to either. It seems to have this high and important place for "getting drunk" in our culture and I personally happen to see it as a normal daily part of life.

[Justawoman]

I grew up with parents that made that their mantra. Don't drink. Don't drink. No premarital sex. No drugs.

But neither one of them sat down with me and said why it would be a bad decision. Well I didn't become a teenage drunk or drug addict. But sexual curiosity got the better of me and I have a beautiful 21 yr. old daughter because of it. No regrets now.

So we have sat our daughters down and talked about all sides of all issues that teens and young adults are bombarded with. They can't say we never opened our mouths and had a viewpoint. Ultimately the decision is theirs but they have the facts and our opinions. Which by the way don't always agree in our household.

[Dude111]

82% of teens whose parents drink will drink themselves.Thats the sad fact of people Jim.. THEY DONT HAVE THIER OWN MINDS,THEY CANT FORM THIER OWN MORALS,OPINIONS .. They FOLLOW THE CROWD and its quite sad :(

Alcohol tastes like crap,I dont know how ANYONE can drink it!! (Beer,etc)

[SReid]

I think when parents take away the mystic behind drinking and present the facts a teen can make the right decision. What gets me are those parents who tell a teen, "never drink" and they never offer a why they shouldn't. Hand a kid a that line and they will find a way to find out why they shouldn't and usually end up making it a habit.

I agree. Giving absolutes to teens doesn't work. Almost every party my daughter went to in high school had drinking...well probably all of them. I keep the lines of communication open on drinking and just educated on the down side and drinking and driving. This worked best for us.