PhilJ
03-16-2007, 04:41 AM
How Close Should You Be With Your Ex?
For many couples, there's an ex-spouse in the picture. But what sort of relationship should you have with him or her? If you have a child together, you do have the responsibility to be a good parent. However, being overly friendly with your ex can cause stress and negative effects on your current relationship. Dr. Phil offers these three points:
1. It's a New Day. Face it: you aren't married anymore. You separated for a reason, and now you must move on. If you are remarried, it's especially important that you define boundaries with your ex. Otherwise, you'll wind up with divided loyalty—a recipe for relationship trouble.
2. It's Your Responsibility. Redefining your relationship with your former flame is up to you. It's not enough that you behave properly; you must also be certain that the relationship has no appearance of impropriety.
3. Include Your New Spouse Does your ex need your help occasionally? Fine. Your new spouse is coming along for the ride, too! This will help to show that while you're willing to be amiable, you have a new life with a new love.
From the show Ask Dr. Phil
http://www2.oprah.com/relationships/relationships_content.jhtml?contentId=con_20020916_closenessex.xml§ion=Breakups/Divorce&subsection=Breakups/Divorce
For many couples, there's an ex-spouse in the picture. But what sort of relationship should you have with him or her? If you have a child together, you do have the responsibility to be a good parent. However, being overly friendly with your ex can cause stress and negative effects on your current relationship. Dr. Phil offers these three points:
1. It's a New Day. Face it: you aren't married anymore. You separated for a reason, and now you must move on. If you are remarried, it's especially important that you define boundaries with your ex. Otherwise, you'll wind up with divided loyalty—a recipe for relationship trouble.
2. It's Your Responsibility. Redefining your relationship with your former flame is up to you. It's not enough that you behave properly; you must also be certain that the relationship has no appearance of impropriety.
3. Include Your New Spouse Does your ex need your help occasionally? Fine. Your new spouse is coming along for the ride, too! This will help to show that while you're willing to be amiable, you have a new life with a new love.
From the show Ask Dr. Phil
http://www2.oprah.com/relationships/relationships_content.jhtml?contentId=con_20020916_closenessex.xml§ion=Breakups/Divorce&subsection=Breakups/Divorce