Gift? Etiquette question

[Sandi P]

A not very well known new friend recently was discussing some religion course tapes she had been listening to and enjoying. I said I would like to hear them, too, and she replied that she would send them to me. I assumed she would loan me hers when she was finished with them. This week, I got a box containing the tapes. Enclosed was a sealed envelope from the company that contained course materials and the invoice. My friend had ordered the set of tapes for me and shipped them to me. While she did receive the box and forward it, I don't think she ever opened it so I'm not sure she knew the invoice was in it.

A long story, but I thought you might need to understand a bit about why I don't know if this was meant as a gift or if I should send her a check. I don't want to insult her if it's a gift, but it was not inexpensive and I don't want to seem grabby, either.

So...should I send her a check for the price of the tapes?

[jamesglewisf]

She's a friend. I would call her, thank her, and tell her that you received the tapes. Tell her there was an invoice inside, and you weren't sure if it had already been paid or if you are supposed to do so. She would have the same questions if she had been the recipient. It is not an unreasonable question.

[Sandi P]

Thanks for the help. I sent her an e-mail thanking her when I received the tapes. The invoice is marked paid. Sorry I forgot to mention that.

I had planned to send a more formal thank you note with a check inside, but then thought it might be insulting. I'm still in a quandry and still haven't done anything about it.

sandi

[lindsey923]

I think you should send her a formal thank you, but it seems to me that this is a gift from her.

Maybe you could take her to lunch for a thank you also.

[jamesglewisf]

A formal thank you note is fine, but I would pick up the phone first and call her about the invoice. Like I said, she's a friend. Just ask her by phone. Email is a horrible form of communication for asking questions.