Karenluvs6
12-04-2000, 07:34 PM
MURFREESBORO, Tennessee - Jeanne Robinson wants the world to know that she has
been traumatized by aliens. According to her new book,
A Quest to Understand Contact, she has under-gone
being raped by an aliens at least twenty times. Each
of these violent incursions resulted in a hybrid
child. The alien rapist was the same gray thing
named Queetzal. All of these abductions/rapes happened
when she lived in Missouri´s Ozark Mountains
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VIENNA, Austria - A few years ago. Folks, this may not be current news, but I came across this historic gem while reading in a South Carolina hotel. Back when Helmut Kohl was the German Chancellor, a protestor decided to show his disgust for Herr Kohl by pulling down his pants and "mooning" the surprised Chancellor. He was arrested, and his defense tried to get the Chancellor in court to make a positive indentification by getting nine unclad men in a line-up to display to Kohl their collective posteriors. The judge ruled againist the motion
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MADRID, Spain - A most unusual court case of attempted murder has captivated this historic city. A man, Jorge Fuentes, has been charged AND CONVICTED of attempted murder of his wife. It seems he trained their talking bird to drive his wife to suicide. The bird would constantly repeat, "End it all" and "Life is not worth living". The bird was brought in to court and "performed" for the judge. After hearing the bird, the judge and jury convicted Jorge.
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Researchers from the British Antarctic Survey have been dispatched to the Falkland Islands to document the behavior of King penguins. During the Falklands war, it was reported that when aircraft overflew penguin colonies the birds were so mesmerized by the sight that they would stare at the planes -- and topple over like dominoes as they pass. One pilot from the war told newspapers, "As the aircraft flew over, they would all lean back further and further as they craned their necks. Then they would collapse on the ground like a pack of cards." But researcher Dr. Richard Stone said he doubted the reports. "Aircraft do have an effect on penguins, but not to the extent of birds falling over," he said, adding he's only studying the birds "to discover if overflights can harm colonies at breeding time." (AFP)...C'mon, Dr. Stone: people are finally interested in science and you don't want them to fall for this one?
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London Mayor Ken Livingstone has proposed that the statues memorializing two British generals be moved from Trafalgar Square because few remember who they are. "I imagine that not one person in 10,000 going through Trafalgar Square knows any details about the lives of those two generals," Livingstone said of the monuments to Sir Henry Havelock and Sir Charles Napier. "It might be that it is time to look at moving them and having figures on those plinths that ordinary Londoners would know." (Reuters) ..."Now stiff on a pillar with a phallic air / Nelson stylites in Trafalgar Square / Reminds the British what once they were." --Lawrence Durrell (1912û1990), British author, in "A Ballad of the Good Lord Nelson".
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A T-shirt sold by the J.C. Penney Co. said "Wazzzuuuup?" on the front. Wazz wrong with that? Well, it's reminiscent of the advertising slogan "Whassup?!" Whass wrong with that? That slogan is used in ads for Budweiser beer. "We want our customers to feel comfortable shopping at our stores," a Penney spokesman said, announcing that the retailer was pulling all the shirts from its shelves. The beer company had nothing to do with the shirt, but Penney's took the action after just one e-mailed complaint from the mother of a 4-year-old. (AP)...Attention Penney's: I'm offended by your kowtowing to one humorless complaint. Now, what are you going to do about that?
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LYESKIL, Sweden - A biker and his girlfriend were recently out for a ride on their motorcycle...in the nude. Police stopped the couple and immediately issued a citation. The charge? Riding a cycle without a helmet.
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Have a bizarre evening!
been traumatized by aliens. According to her new book,
A Quest to Understand Contact, she has under-gone
being raped by an aliens at least twenty times. Each
of these violent incursions resulted in a hybrid
child. The alien rapist was the same gray thing
named Queetzal. All of these abductions/rapes happened
when she lived in Missouri´s Ozark Mountains
------------------------------------------------------------
VIENNA, Austria - A few years ago. Folks, this may not be current news, but I came across this historic gem while reading in a South Carolina hotel. Back when Helmut Kohl was the German Chancellor, a protestor decided to show his disgust for Herr Kohl by pulling down his pants and "mooning" the surprised Chancellor. He was arrested, and his defense tried to get the Chancellor in court to make a positive indentification by getting nine unclad men in a line-up to display to Kohl their collective posteriors. The judge ruled againist the motion
------------------------------------------------------------
MADRID, Spain - A most unusual court case of attempted murder has captivated this historic city. A man, Jorge Fuentes, has been charged AND CONVICTED of attempted murder of his wife. It seems he trained their talking bird to drive his wife to suicide. The bird would constantly repeat, "End it all" and "Life is not worth living". The bird was brought in to court and "performed" for the judge. After hearing the bird, the judge and jury convicted Jorge.
------------------------------------------------------------
Researchers from the British Antarctic Survey have been dispatched to the Falkland Islands to document the behavior of King penguins. During the Falklands war, it was reported that when aircraft overflew penguin colonies the birds were so mesmerized by the sight that they would stare at the planes -- and topple over like dominoes as they pass. One pilot from the war told newspapers, "As the aircraft flew over, they would all lean back further and further as they craned their necks. Then they would collapse on the ground like a pack of cards." But researcher Dr. Richard Stone said he doubted the reports. "Aircraft do have an effect on penguins, but not to the extent of birds falling over," he said, adding he's only studying the birds "to discover if overflights can harm colonies at breeding time." (AFP)...C'mon, Dr. Stone: people are finally interested in science and you don't want them to fall for this one?
------------------------------------------------------------
London Mayor Ken Livingstone has proposed that the statues memorializing two British generals be moved from Trafalgar Square because few remember who they are. "I imagine that not one person in 10,000 going through Trafalgar Square knows any details about the lives of those two generals," Livingstone said of the monuments to Sir Henry Havelock and Sir Charles Napier. "It might be that it is time to look at moving them and having figures on those plinths that ordinary Londoners would know." (Reuters) ..."Now stiff on a pillar with a phallic air / Nelson stylites in Trafalgar Square / Reminds the British what once they were." --Lawrence Durrell (1912û1990), British author, in "A Ballad of the Good Lord Nelson".
------------------------------------------------------------
A T-shirt sold by the J.C. Penney Co. said "Wazzzuuuup?" on the front. Wazz wrong with that? Well, it's reminiscent of the advertising slogan "Whassup?!" Whass wrong with that? That slogan is used in ads for Budweiser beer. "We want our customers to feel comfortable shopping at our stores," a Penney spokesman said, announcing that the retailer was pulling all the shirts from its shelves. The beer company had nothing to do with the shirt, but Penney's took the action after just one e-mailed complaint from the mother of a 4-year-old. (AP)...Attention Penney's: I'm offended by your kowtowing to one humorless complaint. Now, what are you going to do about that?
------------------------------------------------------------
LYESKIL, Sweden - A biker and his girlfriend were recently out for a ride on their motorcycle...in the nude. Police stopped the couple and immediately issued a citation. The charge? Riding a cycle without a helmet.
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Have a bizarre evening!