Karenluvs6
12-08-2000, 06:33 AM
One afternoon, a man was riding in the back of his limousine
when he saw two men eating grass by the road side. He ordered
his driver to stop and he got out to investigate. "Why are
you eating grass?" he asked one man.
"We don't have any money for food.", The poor man replied.
"Oh, come along with me then."
"But sir, I have a wife with two children!"
"Bring them along! And you, come with us too!", he said to
the other man.
"But sir, I have a wife with six children!" the second man
answered.
"Bring them as well!"
They all climbed into the car, which was no easy task, even
for a car as large as the limo. Once underway, one of the
poor fellows says "Sir, you are too kind. Thank you for
taking all of us with you."
The rich man replied "No, I appreciate you: the grass at my
home is about three feet tall!"
------------------------------------------------------------
Two couples went out golfing together. The men hit first
from the men's tee and walked with the ladies to their tee
box.
The first lady took a mighty swing at the ball, missing it
completely, while passing some gas rather loudly in the
process. {fart} No one commented.
She addressed the ball again but this time she passed just
a little gas {fart} as she made contact with the ball, topping it
and moving it only a short distance.
She said, "I wonder why it didn't go any further?"
One of the men said, "I don't think you gave it enough gas!"
------------------------------------------------------------
Luigi: "Father, I wanna an annulment."
Priest: "Why, Luigi? You justa gota married yesterday."
Luigi: "I tink I married my sister."
Priest: "No, no Luigi. I know you an your wife alla your
lives, and there is no relation. Whata make-a you tink she's
your sister?"
Luigi: "Last night -- we undress for bed -- she look at me
say --"Oh, brother!"
------------------------------------------------------------
A successful businessman became disenchanted with the stress
of the fast life in the big city and decides to chuck it all.
He takes his savings and purchases a large ranch in the
middle of nowhere, Montana.
After a couple of months of enjoying the solitude he hears the
drumming of hoof beats outside his cabin. Grabbing his rifle
he challenges the man riding up on the horse.
"Hold it friend," the man says, "I'm your neighbor. I have a
ranch about 6 miles from here, and I want to invite you to a
welcome party I'm throwing for you next Saturday. There's going
to be music, dancin', drinkin' huggin', kissin' and
fightin'.... It's gonna be a great time!"
Not wanting to be un-neighborly the new rancher lowers the
rifle and asks, "How should I dress?"
"Aw, don't matter," replied the neighbor. "Only gonna be the
two of us."
------------------------------------------------------------
Have a great day gang!
when he saw two men eating grass by the road side. He ordered
his driver to stop and he got out to investigate. "Why are
you eating grass?" he asked one man.
"We don't have any money for food.", The poor man replied.
"Oh, come along with me then."
"But sir, I have a wife with two children!"
"Bring them along! And you, come with us too!", he said to
the other man.
"But sir, I have a wife with six children!" the second man
answered.
"Bring them as well!"
They all climbed into the car, which was no easy task, even
for a car as large as the limo. Once underway, one of the
poor fellows says "Sir, you are too kind. Thank you for
taking all of us with you."
The rich man replied "No, I appreciate you: the grass at my
home is about three feet tall!"
------------------------------------------------------------
Two couples went out golfing together. The men hit first
from the men's tee and walked with the ladies to their tee
box.
The first lady took a mighty swing at the ball, missing it
completely, while passing some gas rather loudly in the
process. {fart} No one commented.
She addressed the ball again but this time she passed just
a little gas {fart} as she made contact with the ball, topping it
and moving it only a short distance.
She said, "I wonder why it didn't go any further?"
One of the men said, "I don't think you gave it enough gas!"
------------------------------------------------------------
Luigi: "Father, I wanna an annulment."
Priest: "Why, Luigi? You justa gota married yesterday."
Luigi: "I tink I married my sister."
Priest: "No, no Luigi. I know you an your wife alla your
lives, and there is no relation. Whata make-a you tink she's
your sister?"
Luigi: "Last night -- we undress for bed -- she look at me
say --"Oh, brother!"
------------------------------------------------------------
A successful businessman became disenchanted with the stress
of the fast life in the big city and decides to chuck it all.
He takes his savings and purchases a large ranch in the
middle of nowhere, Montana.
After a couple of months of enjoying the solitude he hears the
drumming of hoof beats outside his cabin. Grabbing his rifle
he challenges the man riding up on the horse.
"Hold it friend," the man says, "I'm your neighbor. I have a
ranch about 6 miles from here, and I want to invite you to a
welcome party I'm throwing for you next Saturday. There's going
to be music, dancin', drinkin' huggin', kissin' and
fightin'.... It's gonna be a great time!"
Not wanting to be un-neighborly the new rancher lowers the
rifle and asks, "How should I dress?"
"Aw, don't matter," replied the neighbor. "Only gonna be the
two of us."
------------------------------------------------------------
Have a great day gang!