Karenluvs6
12-12-2000, 09:37 AM
There was this guy who bought an elderly circus elephant;
I don't know why. Alas, he couldn't afford to feed it. He'd
never seen an elephant jump with all 4 feet off the ground.
So he started a contest: entry was $10, and the first person
to get the elephant to jump with all 4 feet off the ground
would get $50,000.
All sorts of people tried, but nobody could get the elephant
to jump. Finally, this little guy arrives in a limousine.
He's carrying a baseball bat. He walks up to the elephant,
swings the bat, and crunches the elephants jewels pretty badly.
Needless to say, the elephant jumps, and the owner pays out
the $50,000.
Unfortunately, the owner had barely collected enough to cover
the prize, so he ran another contest. He'd never seen an
elephant swing its head back and forth as if to say, "no." Same
deal as before: $10 per entry, $50,000 prize. Lots of people
try and fail.
Then the little guy shows up in his limousine again, pulls out
his bat, and walks up to the elephant. He says, "Remember me?"
The elephant nods yes.
The man says holds up his bat and says, "Want me to use this
again?"
The elephant nods his head rather emphatically no...
------------------------------------------------------------
Two male golfers are standing on the 10th tee. Bill takes about
20 practice swings, changes his grip 5 or 6 times, and changes
his stance just as much.
"Hey Bill what are you doing? Play for heaven's sake. We don't
have all day!" says Jim.
"Hold on a minute, I gotta do this right. See the woman standing
up there on the clubhouse porch? That's my wife and I would like
to get off the perfect shot," replied Bill.
Jim looks, and about 250 yards away he sees Bill's wife. He says,
"You must be kidding. You couldn't hit her from here."
------------------------------------------------------------
I don't know why. Alas, he couldn't afford to feed it. He'd
never seen an elephant jump with all 4 feet off the ground.
So he started a contest: entry was $10, and the first person
to get the elephant to jump with all 4 feet off the ground
would get $50,000.
All sorts of people tried, but nobody could get the elephant
to jump. Finally, this little guy arrives in a limousine.
He's carrying a baseball bat. He walks up to the elephant,
swings the bat, and crunches the elephants jewels pretty badly.
Needless to say, the elephant jumps, and the owner pays out
the $50,000.
Unfortunately, the owner had barely collected enough to cover
the prize, so he ran another contest. He'd never seen an
elephant swing its head back and forth as if to say, "no." Same
deal as before: $10 per entry, $50,000 prize. Lots of people
try and fail.
Then the little guy shows up in his limousine again, pulls out
his bat, and walks up to the elephant. He says, "Remember me?"
The elephant nods yes.
The man says holds up his bat and says, "Want me to use this
again?"
The elephant nods his head rather emphatically no...
------------------------------------------------------------
Two male golfers are standing on the 10th tee. Bill takes about
20 practice swings, changes his grip 5 or 6 times, and changes
his stance just as much.
"Hey Bill what are you doing? Play for heaven's sake. We don't
have all day!" says Jim.
"Hold on a minute, I gotta do this right. See the woman standing
up there on the clubhouse porch? That's my wife and I would like
to get off the perfect shot," replied Bill.
Jim looks, and about 250 yards away he sees Bill's wife. He says,
"You must be kidding. You couldn't hit her from here."
------------------------------------------------------------