Karenluvs6
12-13-2000, 07:34 AM
Q: Why did Beethoven kill his chicken?
A: It kept going, "Bach, Bach, Bach..."
I know, I know! {jester}
------------------------------------------------------------
A large gorilla was roaming through the jungle. He was extremely lonely. Peering through the brush he saw a big old male lion
sleeping on a knoll. Rushing forward he seized the lion, and
before the lion could respond the gorilla had his way with him.
He pushed the lion away and went off running and laughing
through the forest.
Coming to his senses the lion took off after the gorilla. The
gorilla spots a tent with nobody around, jumps inside, pulls on
a pair of pants, a shirt, a hat, and grabs a newspaper and
begins reading.
All of a sudden the lion bursts into the tent, stops short and
roars, "Have you seen a big hairy gorilla around here?"
"You mean the one who just had his way with you?" responds the
gorilla.
The dumbfounded lion says, "You mean it's in the papers already?"
------------------------------------------------------------
After tucking their three-year-old child Sammy in for bed one
night, his parents heard sobbing coming from his room. Rushing
back in, they found him crying hysterically. He managed to tell
them that he had swallowed a penny and he was sure he was going
to die. No amount of talking helped. His father, in an attempt
to calm him down, palmed a penny from his pocket and pretended
to pull it from Sammy's ear. Sammy was delighted.
In a flash, he snatched it from his father's hand, swallowed it,
then cheerfully demanded, "Do it again, Dad!"
------------------------------------------------------------
A flying saucer landed at a gas station on a lonely country road.
The two space aliens inside seemed completely unconcerned about
detection; in fact, the letters "UFO" were emblazoned in big, bold
letters on one side of their shiny craft.
As the station owner stood and gawked in silence, paralyzed with shock,
his young blond attendant nonchalantly filled up the tank and waved to
the two aliens as they took off.
"Do you realize what just happened?" the station owner finally uttered.
"Yeah," said the blond attendant. "So?"
"Didn't you see the space aliens in that vehicle?!"
"Yeah," repeated the blonde attendant. "So?"
"Didn't you see the letters 'UFO' on the side of that vehicle?!"
"Yeah," repeated the blonde attendant. "So?"
"Don't you know what 'UFO' means?!"
The blonde attendant rolled his eyes. "Good grief, boss!
I've been working here for six years.
Of course I know what 'UFO' means--
'Unleaded Fuel Only.'"
A: It kept going, "Bach, Bach, Bach..."
I know, I know! {jester}
------------------------------------------------------------
A large gorilla was roaming through the jungle. He was extremely lonely. Peering through the brush he saw a big old male lion
sleeping on a knoll. Rushing forward he seized the lion, and
before the lion could respond the gorilla had his way with him.
He pushed the lion away and went off running and laughing
through the forest.
Coming to his senses the lion took off after the gorilla. The
gorilla spots a tent with nobody around, jumps inside, pulls on
a pair of pants, a shirt, a hat, and grabs a newspaper and
begins reading.
All of a sudden the lion bursts into the tent, stops short and
roars, "Have you seen a big hairy gorilla around here?"
"You mean the one who just had his way with you?" responds the
gorilla.
The dumbfounded lion says, "You mean it's in the papers already?"
------------------------------------------------------------
After tucking their three-year-old child Sammy in for bed one
night, his parents heard sobbing coming from his room. Rushing
back in, they found him crying hysterically. He managed to tell
them that he had swallowed a penny and he was sure he was going
to die. No amount of talking helped. His father, in an attempt
to calm him down, palmed a penny from his pocket and pretended
to pull it from Sammy's ear. Sammy was delighted.
In a flash, he snatched it from his father's hand, swallowed it,
then cheerfully demanded, "Do it again, Dad!"
------------------------------------------------------------
A flying saucer landed at a gas station on a lonely country road.
The two space aliens inside seemed completely unconcerned about
detection; in fact, the letters "UFO" were emblazoned in big, bold
letters on one side of their shiny craft.
As the station owner stood and gawked in silence, paralyzed with shock,
his young blond attendant nonchalantly filled up the tank and waved to
the two aliens as they took off.
"Do you realize what just happened?" the station owner finally uttered.
"Yeah," said the blond attendant. "So?"
"Didn't you see the space aliens in that vehicle?!"
"Yeah," repeated the blonde attendant. "So?"
"Didn't you see the letters 'UFO' on the side of that vehicle?!"
"Yeah," repeated the blonde attendant. "So?"
"Don't you know what 'UFO' means?!"
The blonde attendant rolled his eyes. "Good grief, boss!
I've been working here for six years.
Of course I know what 'UFO' means--
'Unleaded Fuel Only.'"