selfish?
06-30-2010, 01:27 PM
Hi
I really do not know where to turn. I am getting totally conflicting advice from my friends, so I thought strangers might be more honest.
As a kid I was sexually and physically abused by my father - he died when I was 11 and my brother took over. At 16 I met my now husband. He treated me so sweetly and has never raised a hand to me in 20 years. He provided for the family - he works really hard. He does care about me and our two children (18 and 10) He will do the food shopping, cook and help (ish) around the house.
He never wants to go out - never wants to just chat - always moans about something, but can turn it round and I become the moaner. We shout or snap then i tend to go up out of the way.
In all honest I am totally bored. I have spoken to him about how I feel. He gives me no attention, our sex life is practically zero... i can walk about in sexy underware and 'come on' to him - but he is too tired, or cant be bothered. And when we do have sex, its bland, and over in minutes - I cant remember it being like that before, but for the past 3 years its been really 'hard'.
I love being with my girlfriends - I have several different close friends - he does not have any close friend. He does play tennis on a Sunday evening, has done for 20 years, then he goes for a game of pool after. 2 week nights he also goes out to play pool. I really dont mind - it means I get to watch what I want or talk to my friends without him nagging.
I would say I am an accommadating person and dont really like to cause agruments and hate the thought of truly upsetting him.
But, i am so unhappy - i hate coming home after work, i would rather stop at work until 8pm, then have food, bath then bed.
I have asked him if he thinks it would be best for us to seperate and he says No, I am his soul mate, he loves me!
I love him because he is the father to my children. But thats it really.
When i am out with the girls, i always get complimented and 'chatted up' but have not responded, until very recently! :( I feel bad, but great at the same time.
I want to leave him, but dont want to give up my home.
Sorry this is a bit jumbled, I hope someone can understand me and give me a bit of advice.
Lx
I really do not know where to turn. I am getting totally conflicting advice from my friends, so I thought strangers might be more honest.
As a kid I was sexually and physically abused by my father - he died when I was 11 and my brother took over. At 16 I met my now husband. He treated me so sweetly and has never raised a hand to me in 20 years. He provided for the family - he works really hard. He does care about me and our two children (18 and 10) He will do the food shopping, cook and help (ish) around the house.
He never wants to go out - never wants to just chat - always moans about something, but can turn it round and I become the moaner. We shout or snap then i tend to go up out of the way.
In all honest I am totally bored. I have spoken to him about how I feel. He gives me no attention, our sex life is practically zero... i can walk about in sexy underware and 'come on' to him - but he is too tired, or cant be bothered. And when we do have sex, its bland, and over in minutes - I cant remember it being like that before, but for the past 3 years its been really 'hard'.
I love being with my girlfriends - I have several different close friends - he does not have any close friend. He does play tennis on a Sunday evening, has done for 20 years, then he goes for a game of pool after. 2 week nights he also goes out to play pool. I really dont mind - it means I get to watch what I want or talk to my friends without him nagging.
I would say I am an accommadating person and dont really like to cause agruments and hate the thought of truly upsetting him.
But, i am so unhappy - i hate coming home after work, i would rather stop at work until 8pm, then have food, bath then bed.
I have asked him if he thinks it would be best for us to seperate and he says No, I am his soul mate, he loves me!
I love him because he is the father to my children. But thats it really.
When i am out with the girls, i always get complimented and 'chatted up' but have not responded, until very recently! :( I feel bad, but great at the same time.
I want to leave him, but dont want to give up my home.
Sorry this is a bit jumbled, I hope someone can understand me and give me a bit of advice.
Lx