some humor with your cereal~December 18, 2000

[Karenluvs6]

An enthusiastic door-to-door vacuum salesman goes to the first house
in his new territory. He knocks, a real mean and tough looking lady
opens the door, and before she has a chance to say anything, he runs
inside and dumps cow patties all over the carpet.
He says, "Lady, if this vacuum cleaner doesn't do wonders cleaning this
up, I'll eat every chunk of it."
She turns to him with a smirk and says, "You want ketchup on that?"
The salesman says, "Why do you ask?"
She says, "We just moved in and we haven't got the electricity turned
on yet."
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A completely inebriated man was stumbling down the street
with one foot on the curb and one foot in the gutter. A cop
pulled up and said, "I've got to take you in, pal. You're
obviously drunk"

Our wasted friend asked, "Ociffer, are ya absolutely sure
I'm drunk?"

"Yeah, buddy, I'm sure," said the copper. "Let's go."

Breathing a sigh of relief the wino said, "Thank goodness,
I thought I was a cripple."
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[Dude111]

Hehehe the first one was funny as anything {toothy}

[mywork08]

Business one-liners 01

A President of a democracy is a man who is always ready, willing, and able to lay down your life for his country.

A backscratcher will always find new itches; a brown-noser will always find new sense.

A bad day fishing is better than a good day at work.

A bird in the bush usually has a friend in there with him.

A bird in the hand is always safer than one overhead.

A bird in the hand is dead.

A bird in the hand makes it hard to blow your nose.

A boss with no humor is like a job that is no fun.

A clean tie attracts the soup of the day.

A closed mouth gathers no foot.