Home Schooling

[Carrie Earls]

Is there any other member here who home schools their children? Any who are considering it?

I've just gotten started and would like someone to chat with about it. So far, I enjoy it a lot. But I know I've got a long road ahead of me!

[jamesglewisf]

Sorry to interject here. This is an interesting topic. If we can get enough participation or interest, we might create a special forum(s) for home shooling. We would either put them within in the Kids category or eventually within a new category.

Tell me what you think.

I hope you this is an interesting thread.

[Carrie Earls]

I think it's an excellent idea to create a special forum for home schooling, if enough people show interest. I live in a community where a very high percentage of families home school, so I am fortunate to see and hear a lot. Many home schoolers don't have the support base that I do.

Home schooling is an endeavor that can last anywhere from 1-20 years, depending upon how long you decide to home school and how many children you have. The number of questions you'd have with that kind of endeavor would be overwhelming without a support base.

By the way, there are approximately 1,700,000 children home schooled in the United States currently. That's a lot of kids! (That's a lot of anything.)

[TWTCommish]

Hi There,

I'm 16, and homeschooled, and I definetly enjoy it.

I've been homeschooled most of my life. The only exception was in 5th grade (age of 10)...that year, I went to public school. Did very well, but am glad to be back "home." I enjoy the casual atmosphere...and being homeschooled means I get to take what would have been Biology and Geography classes and use them to learn programming languages instead. :)

The way things are now I get to focus on reading, writing, clerical office work and computer work. These are the things that matter...much more than the capital of Bolivia, or the anatomy of an ant! :)

Not only that...but my father has me read truly useful books. Biographies of great leaders...but presidential and business. Entrepreneurial bios as well. Fantastic writing...all of it quite useful as well.

If you have the time, I highly recommend homeschooling your children.

One concern, however, is social exposure. I'm lucky enough to have a knack for such a thing (I don't really get shy or locked up)....but it is definetly a problem. There are ways around it, however...involving the child in youth sports and field trips when possible always works.

I have been tempted by public school in some respects though. The consistency is appealing to a degree, moreso than the freedom, or chaos (can be either!) that comes with schooling at home. My best friend is the same age (his name is Adam)...met him my one year in public school, and he always tells me I'd have a blast with him in high school. I guess I'll never know! :)

If anyone has any questions about homeschooling, feel free to post them. :D

[LisaRx]

I think that home schooling can work out well if the parent or adult doing the teaching is competent.

Unfortunately, I've seen otherwise. A family member is homeschooling his children, and he graduated from high school only because he participated in remedial/special ed. courses. His wife is not from this country and is not a capable educator, either. Sad situation for the kids....

[TWTCommish]

That can be...but studies have also show that adults of average intelligence are just as capable when it comes to training their children as are highly intelligent parents.

[LisaRx]

I agree, but in this case, the parents are not very highly motivated to place the children's education high on their priority lists.

I have a great education, but I'm not sure that I'm the most qualified person to teach my child 24/7. I have a 6yr old boy who I have read to since he was learning to talk. We make it a practice to read books together a lot. We worked on it all summer, in fact. Yet since he has been back to school and in first grade, he has made AMAZING progress. I think that maybe I just don't motivate him properly, or require him to stick to it.

I admire those parents who CAN!

[TWTCommish]

No doubts there...it takes some time. If you have very self-reliant children, however, it becomes a very simple task...hand them the book, and have them do a lesson a day, coming to you with any questions they might have. :)

If you have the time, go for it!

[41mama]

My ds has been coming home from kindergarten saying he doesn't like it. I actually think it's an excellent program, but I think the problem is he likes to have more control over his schedule. I'm considering homeschooling him next year. I think the full-day program might be too much folderol for him. He's starting to read now, and I'm actually not sure how much school is influencing this and how much it is that he's just ready. We've always pursued his interests and he's learned a lot, just hoovering up information. DH really isn't that crazy about it, but I want him to love learning. I understand the religious reasons for homeschooling, but that hasn't been a problem so far for us. It's more the academic issues. We really need to get involved in our local large support group though because ds is very social. Anyway. Anyone actually homeschooling younger kids? Christie

[TWTCommish]

We are...we currently homeschool a 3 year old, 5 year old, a 7 year old and a 9 year old...all of them homeschooled all of their lives. The 9 year old has already read "The Hobbit" and all 7 books in "The Chronicles of Narnia"...I've also taught her the basics of HTML...so in her case, it's going very well. :D

[blinc]

No kids here, but always wondered about the ability of kids learning to socialize. Are there programs available for kids who are homeschooled, to meet with other kids also being taught at home? Does anyone think it may be a setback to not be interacting with other children? Are you afraid of them having a hard time interacting with social activities once they leave the nest? Just questions I've often ran through my mind when I've seen or heard this topic discussed. Would be very interested in hearing anyone's views on this. :)

[TWTCommish]

Yes, little "home schooling groups" exist, although I have yet to really join one though. I don't have any social problems really (just not the partying type, is all), but for those that do such programs would likely be available, if there's one near you at least.

[Debby]

This subject really hits home for me, as my stepdaughter is being home schooled. She will be 16 in a couple months, and for the past two years has been home schooled. The problem is....no one even consulted with my husband when this decision was made, to take her out of regular school and home school her....he feels like he has no rights, even though he has joint custody. And further more, i have no problem with home schooling on the whole, but only if it is done right. My husbands daughter is so bright, and he is convinced she is only being home schooled so she can be at home to babysit his x-wifes other children. And we worry she wont get the education she needs to go on to college, and I have the feeling, their mother, as well being as she may be, is so involved with furthering her own education, that she is neglecting to do everything that should be done for her daughter. Just my thoughts. I think a child needs more social interaction. I just don't know about this home schooling thing. I think if done in the right way it could be wonderful, but I also think too many people abuse it.

[TWTCommish]

I don't think most people do - most homeschoolers are from Christian families who are either upset with the job the public school is doing academically, or is upset with them handing out condoms, or the overall violence and over-exposure in public schools.

The key is finding a balance. A homeschooler who goes out and sees people a little less than your average kid is probably going to be better off than a public schooler who is exposed to more than he/she needs to be.

If you take the time to introduce them to people and places while homeschooling, the social problem will be non-existent. Train them to be social and know how to handle themselves - it's nearly ALL mental.

And, of course, as a homeschooler, you'll learn more, and you can emphasize the child's strong points - not the same in public school.

[Debby]

I'm sure you are right about that. And most home schooling situations are probably handled well.

[jamesglewisf]

What do you all think about moving this thread to another forum? Either: Anything Goes or Parenting 101? If it's OK, one of the moderators can do it.

[Debby]

It's okay with me....maybe the parenting forum would be best.

[jamesglewisf]

I went ahead and moved this thread to the Parenting 101 forum.

[Austruck]

Since I'm one of TWT's "teachers," let me jump in here. :)

I do see homeschooling as a viable option in the right circumstances, but I also think that parents have to be willing to be flexible about their options with each child and even each school year. My youngest, for instance, really wants to go to school with other kids her age (she's 7). Not sure what to do for her, since our homeschooling is partly due to a 30-mile distance between the two stephouseholds (they don't live in either school district 100% of the school week). For now, though, she's thriving well with the actual schoolwork -- I just have to make extra efforts to get her together with her friends at other times.

Also, the tough part for me is usually trying to keep the "teacher" hat on and not jump into the "mom" mode when one of the children isn't keeping up with schoolwork. That is, it is tough to help them see consequences to bad schoolwork if it's a subject they don't care about. Since there is no real competition with other kids their age, and no grades, per se, it's sometimes daunting to get them to take an interest in why it's bad that they got, say, a 60% in a science quiz.

It's not for the faint of heart, but I've been enjoying being back into their homeschooling this school year. I'm even re-learning algebra and liking it!

[Carrie Earls]

National testing has shown that home schoolers actually fair better in academics than their public schooled counterparts. Even parents who do a less-than-perfect job schooling their kids seem to produce children that perform at national averages, or better.

Several possible reasons for this (aside from the excellent curriculum available) exist. On average, it only takes approximately 1 1/2 to 2 hours per day to home school K-2nd graders, 2 to 2 1/2 hours for 3-5th graders, 3 to 3 1/2 hours for 6-8th graders, and 4 to 4 1/2 hours for 9-12th graders. This includes time spent on homework. The long school hours required of public schoolers is necessary because of the amount of time lost/wasted in a classroom setting. (Approximately 15 minutes of every hour spent in the public classroom is acually spent learning.) Home schoolers have much time "left over" to develop themselves in other areas, to work on healthy relationships with their parents, and pursue other interests.

Many older home schoolers even pursue work opportunities sooner than their public schooled counterparts might, giving them the opportunity to learn financial responsibility, submission to authorities in the work setting, good work ethics, etc.

Also, home schooled kids can get more direct, one-on-one attention from their teaching parents. Even from parents who are teaching several children. One-on-one teaching can provide an obvious advantage over the public classroom for kids who need help or have questions.

Remember, parents have a vested interest in their children. No one will love your children like you do. No one is going to pour the same amount of time, attention, and effort into them as you will. And no one knows them as well as you. You will be able to see just the right tweaks you can make in the schooling to better meet the needs of your child.

Well-rounded, well-taught, well-loved, secure kids will perform well on national tests! It only make sense.

One more thought . . .

Socially, I believe children benefit more from healthy relationships and interactions with their parents and other adults than they necessarily do from peers. Think about it. If a child begins acting up at school, one of the first things teachers ask is, "What's going on at home?" Children have a difficult time performing academically and getting along with their peers socially if things are not well at home.

Plus, the skills that must be learned to get along with others socially are rarely honed by peers! I'm talking healthy social skills, here. We parents are the ones that need to teach our children about kindness, honesty, integrity, patience, keeping the peace, self-control, honor, sharing, selflessness, reaching out to others, good-sportsmanship, manners, etc. Then, we make sure that they have opportunities at home and abroad to put these things to practice and have them tested.

Many people seem to think that peers will learn these things best from each other, in a public setting, but I disagree. I think kids will be more like the ones they spend the most time with, and peers are not always the best influence! If our kids spend the majority of their time (awake) with their peers, they will be most like their peers. (I get a mental picture of the blind leading the blind here!)

I believe that our best training-ground is the home, among the ones we love, who will be honest with us and push us in the right direction. Then, when we go public, the world becomes our testing ground. Plenty of time home with our parents in training, coupled with ample time and opportunity to test those things learned in public, seems like the perfect approach to me, if you can do it. Not everyone can or should home school.

[blinc]

Please don't anyone take this as questioning your personal home-schooling choices, because really I'm curious and fascinated with the concept. Just to be clear, we don't have children and unless a miracle happens we won't have children. :) But... I can still have questions, based on the "what if" theory can't I? {toothy}


I guess if we did have kids, I would really, really be concerned about the socializing issue. I can understand concerns about a child being influenced too much by peer pressure, it happens all the time. However, if the only views a child sees and hears about are his parents views, aren't you afraid that will make for a child that is not well-rounded in their outlook? Isn't part of what makes up our adult personalities, the choices we make as we form into adults?

What about when the child reaches the age where they go out into the world... are you worried at all about the child only being exposed to one set of views (the parents)? Perhaps making them less receptive to new ideas from other people?

I'm worried that a child will be too comfortable only having socialized with the parents... that they will never learn how to easily ineract with kids/teens/young adults their own age. Does that worry you? Do you have children that your child plays with on a regular basis to give them the chance to interact with kids their own age? If not, are you worried that it will make it difficult for your child to make friends?

Really, I'm not against home-schooling... after seeing what I've seen, even here out in the back-country, I can definitely see the advantages to home schooling. Children aren't exposed to violence as they would be in public schools for one thing. The children I have met, who have been home-schooled seem to have a much bettter education. In fact, if we did have kids - home schooling would definitely be something we would seriously consider. The questions I asked above, are questions I would have to ask myself, but since I don't have kids, I'm asking you! :)

By the way... Do you have to be certified to teach your own children where you live? Here, if I'm not mistaken, you have to pass some kind of test before you can home-school your kids.

[Austruck]

Howdy again, all,

Where I live you don't have to pass any tests. You do have to be accountable to the state for actual results of homeschooling, though, in terms of a portfolio of work and standardized test scores for each child over age 8 who is being homeschooled. This occurs every year for each child.

As for the socialization issue: I think you have a misconception about what homeschooling looks like. Socialization really isn't an issue for most of us. My kids have neighborhood friends, friends from church and youth group, and siblings, cousins, etc. None of my four kids is shy around any age group -- adults down to infants. They're all articulate and can step up and introduce themselves as needed to anyone.

TWTCommish (my son) is homeschooled, and he has no socialization problems whatsoever. I think my other kids (all younger than he) have even more outside contact with peers than he does.

Many homeschooling families form co-ops and support groups and get together for combined learning once in a while. (The group I know of meets every Friday afternoon for some sort of field trip, combined group learning, or special speaker for the kids, from police officers to opera singers, etc.)

The issue isn't really about keeping kids AWAY from things, but rather letting the parents have the flexibility to teach their own kids their own way. Most homeschoolers would rather expose their children to MORE options, not fewer. But, I'd be hard-pressed to say that it's better for kids to sit in a public school classroom with teachers who could be teaching from any worldview or perspective (with the imputed authority teachers naturally have in the eyes of their students). I think this confuses young children.

For me the best way to rear my children is to, yes, expose them to my views first (all parents do this, and have a right to), in order to prepare them to face other influences later.

I've heard anti-homeschoolers say that we're raising "hothouse" children, as if that's a bad thing. Yet, if you think about it, what's the purpose of a hothouse? To take young seedlings and plants and nurture them in a private, insulated environment, so that when they are full-grown, they will be healthier and better able to survive.

In some sense, I protect my children from the outside world. While they are yet little, that's my job! Yet, I don't overly protect my children from other beliefs. Quite the contrary. All my kids know all about other beliefs that contradict ours (even the 7 yr old). But I see it as my duty to rear them according to what I believe first.

What they do once they move out is, of course, their own choice and no longer mine. But I don't force them into my way of thinking; I merely live out my beliefs as best I can.

There's a big difference between rearing them in a certain worldview consistently, and rearing them with no specific, honed worldview at all, leaving them stranded at a too-young age trying to figure out how the world works. All parents have an opinion as to how the world works. I see no use in exposing young children to conflicting worldviews (from teachers, peers, etc.), in the name of pluralism or something.

My two cents...
Linda

[blinc]

I think perhaps I did have a misconception... I was thinking the only other people the kids were being exposed to were other family members. I love the idea of the Friday get togethers!! The way I was thinking had me really concerend about the social development of a child. yes, it's great to be smart, but if there wasn't the chance to interact with others, just thought the child would have a miserable time once they tried going out on their own.

What happens if a child doesn't pass the standardized test? Are the parents given a chance to bring up the grades? Or does the state step in and force the child into the public school system immediately?

Just out of curiosity... do you teach your children about other beliefs then your own? Or do you let them discover things on their own, at their own pace?

Were you worried about home-schooling your children, or did you just "know" it was the right thing to do without fears?

Honestly, I'm not trying to argue for or against home-schooling... these are just real concerns I would have. They aren't meant to provoke anyone. Just plain ol' curiosity at work over here. :)

[KatCo]

Hello Everyone,

I was invited over here by Blinc regarding homeshooling. Many of you have summed up the advantages of doing so very well.

I am most definitely for homeschooling if the parent so wishes to do it.

I have two boys aged 18 and 20, so they are both out of the public school systems and into college. I started homeschooling them long before there were so many good support and legal groups out there. I would have loved to have had the support of other famalies regarding this subject!

TWT Commish and Austruck have really summed up some of my feeling regarding homeshooling very well. The only things that I can add is that I am amazed on how many people, when I would tell them that I was homeschooling my children, the first question that would pop out of their mouths would be: "What about socialation?"

My theory on this is that if you raise a child to be confident with himself/herself, then the socialization pretty much falls into place. In the public schools it seems like children find the "bad" traits about each other and focus sometimes on them, i.e. fatty fatty 2 by 4, Brace-face, carrot-top, 4 eyes, I am sure that we have all heard them. In my humble opion, these are NOT the things that bestow confidence into a child. In the real world, it's our differences that make us who we are; it's what makes the world interesting. However, in school, if you are not accepted or not what is considered normal, you can be picked on and degraded.

As I told my boys, your father does not go into work everyday and make jokes about his co-workers pants, hair, glasses etc. For in the work place, it's sometimes finding the other perspective that can solve the problem. (That's why we like the riddle/puzzle site so well, it's all a matter of perception.{toothy}

Another factor you must consider is the basic personality of the child to begin with. Some are meant to be outgoing and flamboyant. Others are going to be introverted and more shy. I guess I figure if you have a very shy child, what is going to give him/her to confidence to "speak-up"? I think that it is the parents and the direct family that can help here the most.

My father always said that: "The proof is in the pudding," and now that my puddings are cooked, I think that I can safely say that "socialization" was, and is, most definitely not an issue here. They are both very confident boys and will and can hold their own in any given situation.

James, my 20 year old, just got accepted into USC's pre-med program. He has completed 2 years, and will be receiving his associates of science here in May. He has been on a full ride scholarship since his first semester. He currently carries a 3.956, receiving his first "B" in an upper level English class. (Go figure, he aces all his Calculus, Chemistry and Biology classes, it's an English course that brought him down!)

He is a member of Phi Theta Kappa honor society as well as the Sci Quest, a science club. He is mentioned in the "Deans List of College Students" for the year 2000, and will be transferring into USC with Junior status. He is hoping to attend medical school here in our home state. He wants to become an pediatric orthopedic surgeon.

He currently works as a Pharmaceutical Technician (was hired on at the young age of 16 in the pharmacy, because he was such an outstanding, confident, young man). He also tutors students in biology, math and chemistry in his college, as well as other high-school students.

My other son has been accepted into and will be starting college this next semester, he also is in my opinion very bright and smart. He has no trouble also standing on his own two feet.

My younger son was quite shy when I began homeschooling him, as he had a speech impediment, so he did not talk a lot for fear of being made fun of. At home we worked on his speech, (he could talk here)and he gained confidence in himself. Now, being some 6'3 and 225 pounds, he is very quick to "defend" those that are being "picked upon" and the underdogs.

By the way, I was no speech therapist or pathologist, but I had his best interest at heart, and somehow stumbled my way through helping him overcome his impediment. Talking to him now, you would have no idea he had had one. The doctors think that he had had as "mini-stroke" due to a very bad case of the chicken pox, which caused a fever so high, that his brain "shorted" out for a moment or two.

Well, I have managed to ramble on once again. Please feel free to talk to me regarding homeshooling if you wish. Over the years I have found some wonderful books, etc., if you would like to know about them place a post or email me at KatCo@AOL.com. It appears that those of you that do homeschool, and post here, have a VERY good handle on it! So for those people I can only offer my words of encouragement - Hang in there, and Way to go!!!

[PsalmReader]

Well here's my 100th post--and it's on a topic that I think about almost every day--home schooling.

My little girl will be 3 in March. I've already had people asking whether she's going to preschool. {eek} I think that I will home school. I was a high school teacher, so academically I think I can swing it. However, I visited a preschool and was amazed by all the stuff they had for the kids to use to learn stuff. I don't have that stuff at home!

I kind of feel like she'll be okay though. She knows her colors, counts to 10, sings abc's, etc. already. I don't want to mess up and leave something out though! That's my debate--I think that being at home would be best, but what if I mess up! {blues}

I'm not worried about the socail thing--especially not during elementary years. She has a Sunday school class of about 15 other 2 year olds--lots of socialization there! {toothy} Plus, in my own experience, having a twin and a mom whom I could talk to was wonderful. I could never trust a friend the way I trust the two of them. I want KK (my daughter's pet name from her brother) to trust me like that too. I'd much rather she confide in me about her troubles in life than someone who might pass it on as the daily gossip. {bawling} I do worry about the high school years though. I really enjoyed student organizations and dances and such. Especially prom!! I want to see my baby in a prom dress one day--it'd help me adjust to a wedding dress being on the way I bet! (Yikes! I feel old and she's just 2!!)

Anyway... That's my 100th post. I have to go for a while now. This was a very interesting topic!

[Austruck]

The nice thing about homeschooling, PsalmReader, is that you don't have to commit to it for the whole 13 years. Two of my children have been in school before -- homeschooled for a while, in school briefly (one year for first son, three years for second son) during the divorce, then homeschooled again -- and it's been a comfort to know that even though they're being homeschooled now, that doesn't mean they can never step foot in a classroom if that becomes a better option for any of them in the future.

She's only 3, PR! Don't fret about something that hasn't happened yet. She can still go to the prom. In fact, in many places, homeschoolers can still attend the events at their local schools. Is there a Christian school nearby? The one near us where my stepchildren attend does accept local homeschoolers for extracurricular activities.

Take it one day at a time. For many years you'll be able to teach her without even blinking an eye. And no, she doesn't need all the fancy stuff that impressed you in the classroom. Sometimes I think that stuff detracts from the basic learning kids SHOULD be doing at that age. Keep learning simple and straightforward -- that never goes out of style.

Oh, and teach her computer skills, of course. (ha ha)

[PsalmReader]

Oh she's a computer junkie already. Well, when she can get her mom off the computer that is! lol She has two different software programs that she really likes. She can use the mouse by herself now too to do them. Yikes! I guess that could be looked at in a positive way though. ;) I'll pretend anyway! :) Did I mention she knows her shapes too. I'm not proud or anything... *snicker, snicker*

That leads me to part of my thinking though. My sister said that when my nephew started K--there were kids in his class who didn't know their colors and shapes. Now I can believe that they wouldn't all be able to say their ABC's, but colors and shapes. ?? I just can't see sending her if she already knows the stuff they are going to teach in K. But then again, maybe I don't know what all they will teach. I can remember doing coloring sheets and playing in a sand box in K. Is there more to it? Do they start any math? I would hope that if we continue at this rate, KK will be doing simple addition in at least two years. You know 1+2=3 and 2+2=4. She has a teriffic memory. She "reads" little short books to me from memeory. very little, very short... that one's not meant to be a brag

Can someone tell me if I'm nuts on my timeline? Please. If I'm out in left field I want to know. If all 2 3/4 year olds do this stuff, let me know.

[KatCo]

PsalmReader,
I agree with Austruck, all the fancy bells and whistles aren't what learning is about.

I found the biggest factor that helped me was just keeping learning FUN so that they never learn to not enjoy learning!

Unfortunately there are some things that just have to be done (such as those pesky multiplication tables, where it's basically memorization skills) it still can be accomplished with some "fun" attached to it. Little things like singing the tables or using jelly beans (which can be eaten as a reward)can help to keep the learning fun.

In my opinion because you are her mother, you will always be the best teacher she will and could have. You will always have her best interest at heart, so I have no doubt in your ability what so ever as a teacher. One added plus as a mother is that you know how to "read" your child better than anyone. You will know when to back off, or when you need to push a little. You will know when she is having an "off" day, or not feeling well, and be able to adjust the lessons accordingly.

All, in all, follow your heart, I truly believe that it will not lead you wrong when it concerns your children.

And absolutely, there is no contract saying once homeschooled always homeschooled or vice versa! I do think that girls are more social creatures than boys are (mine could have cared less about attending a prom), but playing football was high on their priority list. You can always choose which road to take when it presents itself!

Best of luck to you, you are going to do just fine! ;)

[PsalmReader]

Here's a little story as if you guys haven't heard enough from me today!.

When I went back to work after I had KK, I got one of my student's mom's to keep her at her home. I had her oldest boy in class a couple of years prior too. She is a wonderful lady! Her youngest son was really having trouble in school though. He had a lot of anger that he just didn't know what to do with (he had lost his sister in a car wreck when he was younger, and I think that had a lot to do with it). Anyway, I put in a lot of hours at the school. I taught ag and did most of the student group (FFA) activities plus committees and all that stuff.

Well one day it hit me that I was at school trying to turn my babysitter's kid around while my kid was at the babysitter's. This made no sense to me whatsoever! Truth be known, that boy probably needed his mom more than he needed to be failing school. I was told that he ended up dropping out of school. :( I hate to admit it, but maybe that's what he needed. I just can't see me going to work everyday trying to "change kids lives" while my kid is with someone else. What about her life?

Well anyway that's what God used to convict me about staying home, and it is in the back of my mind when I consider home school. It's a big financial sacrifice though! I left a job making over 30k a year. (That may be small beans to some people I guess, but not to us!) I am a worrier. I try not to be! I know it doesn't honor God to be that way. I know He has plans and everything will work out the way it needs to, but in the mean time I ponder and debate all this stuff in my head.

BTW, the preschool was a "Montasori" (sp?) school. They didn't have fancy gadgets. A lot of it probably came from dollar stores, but I just can't think of that stuff. For example they had colored cotton balls that the kids were supposed to sort into colored bowls. They had all kinds of little knick knacks in different colors that were to be sorted by color. Just stuff like that. LOTS of activities! I think you would really need to be in a group with other home schoolers for your kids to get the best possible experience. Then you could buy some stuff and send it around in the group. See, I'm already trying to plan what you could buy, who would be in the group, how would you organize it. That's me--T the worry wort!

[Austruck]

PsalmReader,

I do think you're over-thinking this, but not in a bad way. You're a lot like me (a worry wort), but don't let it paralyze you about this issue.

I've found (after four kids, ages 16 to 7) that it does little good to start comparing your child to any other child, except for basic comparisons such as, "Is she speaking/reading/hearing/seeing on age level?" I think those basic questions are appropriate in order to catch any sort of medical problem that needs to be treated.

But, other than that, nitpicking how your child is doing in terms of smaller issues compared to others will only end up frustrating you (and her!) down the road. Every child learns every subject at a different rate. That's precisely why schools have to take an 8-hour school day to do what homeschoolers can usually do in half the time: Because the schools have to try to cater to 30 kids in one class who are being taught the same thing at once, but who are learning it in different ways and at different rates. The "lowest common denominator" of learning ends up ruling the day.

That having been said, I also know that two of my four children seem to be the types who might ultimately learn better in a more structured environment with peers. (For instance, one child used to get A's when in school years ago but now doesn't seem to care when I grade tests or quizzes with D's or F's -- no competition, who cares?)

In other words, some children really just aren't the self-starters at some ages that they'd need to be to be good homeschoolers. Of course, there is also the variable of how many children you're homeschooling. If you only have one child, it's far easier to put in the time and work around the non-self-starter difficulty. But I have four, and if one child is slacking off (who is old enough to be doing some work on his own), then it's harder to make enough one-on-one time to be sure everything's covered all the time.

I'm rambling, sorry! The main point is that I do think you're over-thinking this. I know it because I did it too with my firstborn. Keep in mind that those schools need colorful, clever, store-bought stuff to teach so many very young, fidgety kids. They have to constantly keep their attention riveted; otherwise, there would be kiddie kaos.

You'll do fine.

[KatCo]

Austruck,

Just a thought here, you had stated that one of you kids didn't seem to care about quizzes anymore, no competition.

This might work, try some reverse psyc.

I would tell my kids that the "quizzes/tests" were "MY" grade to see how well I had put forth the lesson. If they didn't do well, than I obviously hadn't taught the class very well.

This worked on my two boys, they would let themselves "fail" but couldn't stand the thought of their Mom doing so. {toothy}

Just an idea.....

[Austruck]

HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!

I'm not laughing at you, honest! But my two teen boys (16 and 14) are at those splendid ages when not hurting Mom's feelings aren't really their top priority.

The only thing that comes close is that if they do TOO poorly, homeschooling won't continue to be an option. But I don't like something that extreme being the motivation.

If only they were twins -- if they were in the same grade, they'd LOVE to compete with each other, I'm sure! ;)

[KatCo]

I guess that is why they say every child must be taught and treated differently.

The older my boys became the more "protective" and compliant they were to me. They also had many of their friends (who were attending public high school) telling them that they were SOOOOOOO lucky to be able to do homeschooling and that they had a mom that would let them. Their friends on numerous occasions also told them they would give their eye teeth to be able to stay home and study.

Maybe this was their motivational factor I don't know.

You can always ask Dk Tahg his opinion if you want to also, he is always willing to add his two cents worth. ;)

Then there's the final motivational tool, that always seems to do the trick - the good ol'fryin pan... ha ha ha. I'm just joking - honest{toothy}