Tipping at a B&B

[silly_pirates]

Hi! I am new here and found this forum after reading the incredibly long and well thought out list on tipping by James G Lewis, who I see is the moderator (?) here.

My thoughts on my one, lone area of expertise (owner of a B&B) are as follows...

Although James says most B&B's in the US and Canada have no-tipping policies, I have never seen that in any place I have ever stayed and, to my knowledge, that is not the policy of any of the 10 B&B's in the town in which I live.

That James says it is ok to 'tip the owner' in one place in the list and that it is not ok to tip the owner of a B&B in another place on the list is contradictory. Hey, we're people, too!

Here's a breakdown of some of what a B&B owner does for you that a hotel will charge you for and their staff will expect to be tipped for performing:

1. Carry your luggage from the car to your room and back out again.
2. Make your reservations for dinner and theater and any other events or sightseeing you choose to do on your stay.
3. Provide you with free soda, bottled water and, where allowable, wine or beer.
4. Refresh your room, do a turn down service, replace towels and empty trash in the afternoon.
5. Purchase, set up and arrange flowers, wine and other amenities (birthday cake, etc) when you state it is a special event. Many B&B owners do this out of pocket, no charge to the guest. (Others have set packages you may purchase.)
6. Completely replace your bed linens if you leave a soaking wet towel on the bed. Ditto when your dog or young child wets the bed.
7. Clean up when your 2 year old throws up all over the room. Twice.
8. Work with you, or do it ourselves, to connect your computer to the internet because you do not know how to operate remotely.
9. Drive you to the airport because local taxis will not pick up in a snowstorm.
10. Go to the store to get you something you crave when you cannot go out because you've been taken ill on vacation.
11. Send and receive multiple faxes because you are in the middle of a real estate deal when you decide it's the perfect time to go on vacation.
12. Get out of bed at 2 AM to open the door and let you in because you thought it was ok to stop and visit friends on the way even though you specifically said you would arrive at 1 PM and demanded an early check-in.
13. Prepare a 'to-go' breakfast for you at 5 AM so you can make it to the ferry on time. (Even though it is the same morning the other guests arrived at 2 AM.)
14. Make sure we have your favorite juice/coffee/chocolate chip cookie on hand when you arrive if you are a repeat guest whose preferences we know. Even though no other guest or ourselves will want what it is you love and the rest will be thrown out after you leave.

The list goes on. If you think the majority of the items above are 'standard' procedure, please let me know where you have stayed...I need a vacation. <grin>

The point being, if these items were provided by a paid lackey, you would tip. It's ok to say 'thanks' to the owner of the B&B by tipping her or him or them. If you feel odd tipping with money, flowers are a nice option. Chocolates are good, too. Heck, sometimes a bottle of wine would be terrific. Most times a grateful 'thanks' would go a long way!

What I have found in 3+ years of owning an inn is that it is usually the guest who causes no problems, asks no favors and who is a pleasure to have around who is the guest who tips. The guests who tear the place apart, upset all the schedules, demand the most are the guests who walk out the door without even saying 'goodbye' much less tipping.

If it is ok to tip the owner of the hair salon who takes care of you, it's ok to tip the owner of the B&B. Not that I expect it. It's always a surprise and a joy when a guest tips me. Some of the best 'tips' have been the personal gifts guests have given or sent after their stay.

I know most people do not want one more place to leave a tip, but keep in mind the innkeepers do NOT keep the whole dollar amount you paid for your stay. Out of that room rate comes every single item the innkeeper buys for your stay, plus the mortgage payment, the taxes, the new roof, etc. Sometimes the room rate covers your stay, other times I'm in the hole because of higher fuel prices, water usage, etc. I cannot raise room rates to such an extent that every item, including a modest ROI, is covered at all times of the year as you, dear guest, will either boycott or ask for a reduced rate.

I hope this helps to understand the economics of tipping the owner of a B&B.

[jamesglewisf]

Please quote my section on tipping, instead of misrepresenting it.

Many, if not most B&Bs have a no-tipping policy in the US and Canada. In other countries it varies. It never hurts to tip, but it is definitely not expected, and many B&Bs specifically ask that you do not. Most are family owned and the price they charge covers everything.

The safest bet is to inquire at the specific Bed and Breakfast where you plan to stay before you arrive.

If there is hired housekeeping staff, then tip the same as at a hotel.

Nowhere did I say it "that it is not ok to tip the owner of a B&B." In fact, I said that "The safest bet is to inquire at the specific Bed and Breakfast where you plan to stay before you arrive."

[joypebble]

Originally Posted by silly_pirates

...I know most people do not want one more place to leave a tip, but keep in mind the innkeepers do NOT keep the whole dollar amount you paid for your stay. Out of that room rate comes every single item the innkeeper buys for your stay, plus the mortgage payment, the taxes, the new roof, etc....

Frankly, I find this kind of reasoning strange, shortsighted and slightly irritating. The B&B business is a service business. The customer buys a service, not a stripped down skeleton which requires incremental payments to raise the level of quality service.

Remember, the customer (that's me) is not a partner in your business. I do not share in your profits and am otherwise not involved in the day-to-day operation of your service. I don't want to ever have to worry about your mortgage problems while I'm buying a respite from my own. Staying with a host at a B&B isn't a cooperative venture. Too may service providers want the buyer to know the seller's problems. When you whine about your exopenses or complain that customers don't know how expensive your costs are, then you present yourself as a poor professional because you pollute the care-taking host image and partially spoil the vacation experience.I stay at B&B's to get away from that whining kind of fund-raising.

The whole idea of a service hotel or B&B is that from arrival to departure, everything should be the responsibility of the host. The gradual nickle-and-diming of customers to participate in the high cost of doing YOUR business is unacceptable and a sign, in my opinion, that the entire service business may be on the skids.

I will tip, spontaneously for extraordinary and unusual service. But, when the tips are requested, especially when they are presented as expense-sharing, then they are fees and not gratuities.
---JP

[BB Girl]

Originally Posted by joypebble

Frankly, I find this kind of reasoning strange, shortsighted and slightly irritating. The B&B business is a service business. The customer buys a service, not a stripped down skeleton which requires incremental payments to raise the level of quality service.

Remember, the customer (that's me) is not a partner in your business. I do not share in your profits and am otherwise not involved in the day-to-day operation of your service. I don't want to ever have to worry about your mortgage problems while I'm buying a respite from my own. Staying with a host at a B&B isn't a cooperative venture. Too may service providers want the buyer to know the seller's problems. When you whine about your exopenses or complain that customers don't know how expensive your costs are, then you present yourself as a poor professional because you pollute the care-taking host image and partially spoil the vacation experience.I stay at B&B's to get away from that whining kind of fund-raising.

The whole idea of a service hotel or B&B is that from arrival to departure, everything should be the responsibility of the host. The gradual nickle-and-diming of customers to participate in the high cost of doing YOUR business is unacceptable and a sign, in my opinion, that the entire service business may be on the skids.

I will tip, spontaneously for extraordinary and unusual service. But, when the tips are requested, especially when they are presented as expense-sharing, then they are fees and not gratuities.
---JP

silly_pirates, Thank you so much for your post!
I think EVERYONE needs to really double check themselves when THEY are being served by others.

joypebble-
your snobbish and presumptuous attitude makes me cringe.
we are all people working to make a living.
silly_pirate was not "whining" as you so nicely put it.
We innkeepers work 24/7 with a smile on our face because while our guests may not fully understand all the work that goes into it, they appreciate and respect the service we provide.
I am guessing you have never worked in the service field yourself.
You would go on our "booked" list.
In other words, even if we are hurting for the income, we would always be "booked" when you called. It just wouldn't be worth dealing with the attitude and negative energy.



Mohandas K. Gandhi:

You must not lose faith in humanity. Humanity is an ocean; if a few drops of the ocean are dirty, the ocean does not become dirty.

[joypebble]

Oh I am indeed in the service business and have been successful at it for 55 years.

I do not believe in making my clients and customers into vacation partners. I'm not running a co-op. I believe in providing seamless service without hints and cajoling for extra profits. The only extra profit I seek is loyalty and repeat business.

Your ethic seems strangely small time and petty and is likely transparent to customers or to those who know what good service is really about.

You seem among the few service providers with no apparent grace. Jolly does not equal grace. Grace is an overall attribute that cannot coexist with professional whining designed to nickle and dime extra profits.

Good luck with your efforts to extract pocket-fuzz profits.

I celebrate being on your “Booked” list and am happy with my many other FSD status hosts, clients and customers.

[jamesglewisf]

You guys need to keep it civil.

I think B&Bs should set the price they want to get paid and not sit around hoping for tips. If a B&B can't set a price that covers its costs and nets a profit, then what the owner has is a hobby, not a business.

[BB Girl]

jamesglewisf- I have never met a B&B owner who "sits around" waiting. Ever.

joypebble- I will pray for your character.



"People seem not to see that their opinion of the world is also a confession of character."

[jamesglewisf]

If you don't stop insulting people, you will be banned. Keep it civil. This is your final warning.