I am SO angry!

ladyserenity · 03-07-2001, 12:44 AM

This could be a long story, but I'll make it short. A year ago I got a big promotion at work. I didn't think I should have but my ego sort of took over. By June I knew it was a big mistake, I HATED my job. I felt stuck because I had selected a replacement for me. In August I spoke to the CEO of the company, who talked with the staff in my department, and things went downhill from there...except that an approval came to expand the department and an additional manager was approved. For me it was the answer to my prayers. Well, my supervisor was not happy that I wanted to step down and has been trying to step on me every chance she gets. She got another big promotion and will be in a different branch, but her cronies seem to be taking her mission. This morning my director told me that she had been informed by our HR department to tell me I couldn't come to work with wet hair anymore.

I have worked there for 4 1/2 years and have come with wet hair every day. (I have really long hair and just wash and go. It is dry within an hour of getting to work) I don't see the public, I'm in my office doing my thing. There isn't anything in the employee handbook about wet hair in the morning. Several others come with wet hair...including some VP's (which also includes my former supervisor). So, my husband called the labor board for me. And, since it is a violation of the law to single me out for that, they said I needed to call the EEOC. Guess what I will be doing in the morning before I go to work!

All I want is to go to work, do my job, and go home.

G

R

ok, I feel better now

kezzer · 03-07-2001, 01:28 AM

I hope you can get things worked out. I go to work all the time with wet hair and I do work with the public and it's never been an issue. It sounds to me like bad business. I hope all goes well, and keep us updated!

keithster · 03-07-2001, 11:18 AM

It sounds like you are being set up. Any time they start picking on things like wet hair when it's never been an issue before and others get away with it, it's a sign.

They are probably hoping that if they make life difficult enough for you, you'll quit on your own. This probably means that they know they have no grounds on which to fire you, so they'll be indirect about it.

A cheerful smile and a pleasant demeanor go a long way in situations like this. No matter how angry I felt inside, I put on the show and it actually got amusing. I couldn't laugh about it at the time, but when I got home. People get annoyed when they realize that they aren't getting to you.

But it does take a lot to keep it up. Not always easy.

ladyserenity · 03-07-2001, 09:23 PM

You hit the nail right on the head. I talked to the EEOC today, and since wet hair isn't covered under "race, gender, age, or religion" they can't get involved. Now I'm trying to get back in touch with the labor board. I'm going to fight it smart. I just keep doing my job. They can't get me on any performance issues, so now it's the petty stuff.
It's so political, and that drives me nuts. But, I'll play it smart and play the game. I'm looking for another job, because it isn't a healthy environment to be in. Once I get something lined up it will give me the greatest of pleasure to turn in my resignation.

Wouldn't it be nice if I could find a place where everyone was up front, honest, didn't play games, and just did the right thing....because it was the right thing to do?

<sigh>

keithster · 03-07-2001, 09:38 PM

Businesses can be as dysfunctional as the most messed up family. It's amazing as well as distressing.

blinc · 03-08-2001, 02:40 PM

Eeek! I bet you're trying to keep your cool and good for you. Don't give them anything tangible to get their hands on, such as you losing your temper and going off on them.

Office politics... boy that's one thing I sure don't miss about being out there in the business world. If the real politicians ever wanted to see how low some things can sink, well... they could stand back and take notes at a couple of the games of office politics I've seen played out. Rough stuff and not a pretty thing to watch.

I'm reminded of an incident - that may actually come in handy for you right about now. This was about ten years ago, but still sticks in my mind... the company I was working at had several hundred employees in one office building, so of course tempers flared, that's not what this is about though. This one time, one of our account exectives hired a new secretary. Everything was fine for the first couple weeks. Then all of sudden she started wearing leather mini-skirts and halter tops. It was so unprofessional... we had representatives of huge manufacturers coming in - it just didn't look good. So, he went to her and started to ask her to go back to dressing in a "professional" manner. He didn't get five sentences out, when she turned to him, looked him dead in the eye and asked for him to put it in writing. He just backed up, said "nope, that's ok, nevermind". Two days later, our office had a new dress-code in effect for ALL employees.

He backed off because he knew he was asking her to do something that wasn't covered in the employees handbook and it could have gotten him into trouble if he hadn't backed off.

If they're singling you out and you want to put a good scare in them, to get them to quit harrassing you... just look your director in the eye and ask for it to be put into writing. If they are singling you out to get even with you, that's just terribly unfair.

ladyserenity · 03-09-2001, 12:25 AM

I've been thinking about requesting it in writing. We've been having a hard time getting any definitive answers from the labor board. I did some research tonight online, but couldn't find anything that didn't relate to the EEOC guidelines.
I don't really want to antagonize them, and I'm not certain what the reaction will be if I ask for it in writing. I'm going to do a little more research before going that next step. I wish I could get a large group of people together to come in one day with wet hair! LOL
I'll keep you up to date on this though.

03-07-2001, 12:44 AM	#1
ladyserenity FrappyQueen Charteroo Join Date: Mar 2001 Location: South Florida Posts: 175	This could be a long story, but I'll make it short. A year ago I got a big promotion at work. I didn't think I should have but my ego sort of took over. By June I knew it was a big mistake, I HATED my job. I felt stuck because I had selected a replacement for me. In August I spoke to the CEO of the company, who talked with the staff in my department, and things went downhill from there...except that an approval came to expand the department and an additional manager was approved. For me it was the answer to my prayers. Well, my supervisor was not happy that I wanted to step down and has been trying to step on me every chance she gets. She got another big promotion and will be in a different branch, but her cronies seem to be taking her mission. This morning my director told me that she had been informed by our HR department to tell me I couldn't come to work with wet hair anymore. I have worked there for 4 1/2 years and have come with wet hair every day. (I have really long hair and just wash and go. It is dry within an hour of getting to work) I don't see the public, I'm in my office doing my thing. There isn't anything in the employee handbook about wet hair in the morning. Several others come with wet hair...including some VP's (which also includes my former supervisor). So, my husband called the labor board for me. And, since it is a violation of the law to single me out for that, they said I needed to call the EEOC. Guess what I will be doing in the morning before I go to work! All I want is to go to work, do my job, and go home. GRRRR ok, I feel better now __________________ I wander, therefore I roam.

03-07-2001, 01:28 AM	#2
kezzer WaffyDaffy Moderatoroo Join Date: Oct 2000 Location: CT Posts: 2,134	I hope you can get things worked out. I go to work all the time with wet hair and I do work with the public and it's never been an issue. It sounds to me like bad business. I hope all goes well, and keep us updated! __________________ My children are the reason for everything. The reason everything is broken, dirty, and out of place!

03-07-2001, 11:18 AM	#3
keithster Gigglesnort Charteroo Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: Georgia Posts: 674	It sounds like you are being set up. Any time they start picking on things like wet hair when it's never been an issue before and others get away with it, it's a sign. They are probably hoping that if they make life difficult enough for you, you'll quit on your own. This probably means that they know they have no grounds on which to fire you, so they'll be indirect about it. A cheerful smile and a pleasant demeanor go a long way in situations like this. No matter how angry I felt inside, I put on the show and it actually got amusing. I couldn't laugh about it at the time, but when I got home. People get annoyed when they realize that they aren't getting to you. But it does take a lot to keep it up. Not always easy. __________________ "If we couldn't laugh, we would all go insane." Jimmy Buffett

03-07-2001, 09:23 PM	#4
ladyserenity FrappyQueen Charteroo Join Date: Mar 2001 Location: South Florida Posts: 175	You hit the nail right on the head. I talked to the EEOC today, and since wet hair isn't covered under "race, gender, age, or religion" they can't get involved. Now I'm trying to get back in touch with the labor board. I'm going to fight it smart. I just keep doing my job. They can't get me on any performance issues, so now it's the petty stuff. It's so political, and that drives me nuts. But, I'll play it smart and play the game. I'm looking for another job, because it isn't a healthy environment to be in. Once I get something lined up it will give me the greatest of pleasure to turn in my resignation. Wouldn't it be nice if I could find a place where everyone was up front, honest, didn't play games, and just did the right thing....because it was the right thing to do? <sigh> __________________ I wander, therefore I roam.

03-07-2001, 09:38 PM	#5
keithster Gigglesnort Charteroo Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: Georgia Posts: 674	Businesses can be as dysfunctional as the most messed up family. It's amazing as well as distressing. __________________ "If we couldn't laugh, we would all go insane." Jimmy Buffett

03-08-2001, 02:40 PM	#6
blinc FrappyDoo! Adminiroo Join Date: Sep 2000 Location: N. Carolina, USA Posts: 2,930	Eeek! I bet you're trying to keep your cool and good for you. Don't give them anything tangible to get their hands on, such as you losing your temper and going off on them. Office politics... boy that's one thing I sure don't miss about being out there in the business world. If the real politicians ever wanted to see how low some things can sink, well... they could stand back and take notes at a couple of the games of office politics I've seen played out. Rough stuff and not a pretty thing to watch. I'm reminded of an incident - that may actually come in handy for you right about now. This was about ten years ago, but still sticks in my mind... the company I was working at had several hundred employees in one office building, so of course tempers flared, that's not what this is about though. This one time, one of our account exectives hired a new secretary. Everything was fine for the first couple weeks. Then all of sudden she started wearing leather mini-skirts and halter tops. It was so unprofessional... we had representatives of huge manufacturers coming in - it just didn't look good. So, he went to her and started to ask her to go back to dressing in a "professional" manner. He didn't get five sentences out, when she turned to him, looked him dead in the eye and asked for him to put it in writing. He just backed up, said "nope, that's ok, nevermind". Two days later, our office had a new dress-code in effect for ALL employees. He backed off because he knew he was asking her to do something that wasn't covered in the employees handbook and it could have gotten him into trouble if he hadn't backed off. If they're singling you out and you want to put a good scare in them, to get them to quit harrassing you... just look your director in the eye and ask for it to be put into writing. If they are singling you out to get even with you, that's just terribly unfair.

03-09-2001, 12:25 AM	#7
ladyserenity FrappyQueen Charteroo Join Date: Mar 2001 Location: South Florida Posts: 175	I've been thinking about requesting it in writing. We've been having a hard time getting any definitive answers from the labor board. I did some research tonight online, but couldn't find anything that didn't relate to the EEOC guidelines. I don't really want to antagonize them, and I'm not certain what the reaction will be if I ask for it in writing. I'm going to do a little more research before going that next step. I wish I could get a large group of people together to come in one day with wet hair! LOL I'll keep you up to date on this though. __________________ I wander, therefore I roam.