Parental Burn Out Myth Or ???

Justawoman · 12-14-2004, 06:52 PM

Hopefully by now I have your attention. Do you believe parents can just get flat out burned out from raising kids? My 17 year old has two friends that were raised by a single mom. No news there it is everywhere but this past year she literally sold their house out from under the girls, gave them x amount of days to move and then up and moved 80 miles away without them. They are living with Grandpa and trying to cope. When they were little she had them in everything imaginable. She seemed like such a doting mother. She would show up at everyone of their school programs and always knew where they were at and with whom. This whole school year no one has seen her. Her daughters seem so unspirited at times. I feel sorry for the girls and angry at this woman I called friend. I don't understand how you can just walk away from your children even though they are going to graduate soon and move on. They still need their mom to talk about problems and for advice. Is this burn out because she never left anytime for her while raising the girls? Has anyone known another parent to do this? Even I am confused and I can only imagine how her daughters feel.

jamesglewisf · 12-15-2004, 12:04 AM

I'm wondering if there were problems all along, and instead of dealing with them she tried to be super mom.

Justawoman · 12-16-2004, 05:26 PM

Been wondering the same thing Jim. It is really sad for the whole family. When you ask the mom's dad how she is or where she is he just grunts his reply in disgust. He just thought his days of having teens in the house were over. These girls are really good kids too and so smart.

drewsmom930 · 07-27-2005, 01:32 AM

i guess some people arent cut out to be great parents. My mother left when I was really young just a baby and showed up throughout my childhood and when things got really bad for me when i needed her most she said "well i have raised you its mine turn" I was 14 I then went back to live with my family and moved out when I was 18 and havent talked to anyone but my brother since. I think some people try to put on a good show because they feel like maybe thats what is expected of them but once they feel their kids can handle themselves they leave or they just stop caring what others think

Alec · 07-27-2005, 08:24 AM

That's really just being selfish. It has nothing to do with burn out. You could use the "I'm tired of being responsible," line for just about any situation. It's a cop out.

drewsmom930 · 07-27-2005, 06:31 PM

thats very true

DataJack · 07-28-2005, 01:19 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Alec

That's really just being selfish. It has nothing to do with burn out. You could use the "I'm tired of being responsible," line for just about any situation. It's a cop out.

DITTO

Hannamoren · 07-28-2005, 03:03 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jamesglewisf

I'm wondering if there were problems all along, and instead of dealing with them she tried to be super mom.

I'll go for this one. Anyhow it is sad.

Noseypoo · 07-28-2005, 11:27 AM

I believe there's a thing like 'parental burnout'. Especially if you're a single parent having to handle any- and everything yourself with no help and support. And I don't think it has a thing to do with selfishness or being a bad parent.
Where was the Dad of the girls the whole time?

Justawoman · 07-28-2005, 04:46 PM

when he found out she was pregnant with twins he went AWOL. They don't have a good relationship with him now either.

Both girls got graduated from high school and are enrolled in a college. They are going to do just fine.

Grimey · 07-28-2005, 09:51 PM

You might be burned out, but it is still not an excuse for bailing.

12-14-2004, 06:52 PM	#1
Justawoman Justamoderator Join Date: Jul 2004 Location: Texas Posts: 7,091	Parental Burn Out Myth Or ??? Hopefully by now I have your attention. Do you believe parents can just get flat out burned out from raising kids? My 17 year old has two friends that were raised by a single mom. No news there it is everywhere but this past year she literally sold their house out from under the girls, gave them x amount of days to move and then up and moved 80 miles away without them. They are living with Grandpa and trying to cope. When they were little she had them in everything imaginable. She seemed like such a doting mother. She would show up at everyone of their school programs and always knew where they were at and with whom. This whole school year no one has seen her. Her daughters seem so unspirited at times. I feel sorry for the girls and angry at this woman I called friend. I don't understand how you can just walk away from your children even though they are going to graduate soon and move on. They still need their mom to talk about problems and for advice. Is this burn out because she never left anytime for her while raising the girls? Has anyone known another parent to do this? Even I am confused and I can only imagine how her daughters feel. __________________ You know you have had too much coffee when someone says,"how are you?", and you say,"good to the last drop."

12-15-2004, 12:04 AM	#2
jamesglewisf Doofus Maximus Join Date: Sep 2000 Location: Texas Posts: 8,401	I'm wondering if there were problems all along, and instead of dealing with them she tried to be super mom. __________________ Jim Lewis - Admin Tipping Etiquette Dining Etiquette JamesGLewis.com iPhone Tip Guide Movies Without Nudity.com To BE or not to BE

12-16-2004, 05:26 PM	#3
Justawoman Justamoderator Join Date: Jul 2004 Location: Texas Posts: 7,091	Been wondering the same thing Jim. It is really sad for the whole family. When you ask the mom's dad how she is or where she is he just grunts his reply in disgust. He just thought his days of having teens in the house were over. These girls are really good kids too and so smart. __________________ You know you have had too much coffee when someone says,"how are you?", and you say,"good to the last drop."

07-27-2005, 08:24 AM	#5
Alec I'm with Stupid! Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: USA Posts: 1,998	That's really just being selfish. It has nothing to do with burn out. You could use the "I'm tired of being responsible," line for just about any situation. It's a cop out. __________________ Alec "Second-hand flatulence knows no borders."

07-28-2005, 04:46 PM	#10
Justawoman Justamoderator Join Date: Jul 2004 Location: Texas Posts: 7,091	when he found out she was pregnant with twins he went AWOL. They don't have a good relationship with him now either. Both girls got graduated from high school and are enrolled in a college. They are going to do just fine. __________________ You know you have had too much coffee when someone says,"how are you?", and you say,"good to the last drop."

07-27-2005, 01:32 AM	#4
drewsmom930 Woopdeedoo Join Date: Jul 2005 Location: Oklahoma Posts: 93	i guess some people arent cut out to be great parents. My mother left when I was really young just a baby and showed up throughout my childhood and when things got really bad for me when i needed her most she said "well i have raised you its mine turn" I was 14 I then went back to live with my family and moved out when I was 18 and havent talked to anyone but my brother since. I think some people try to put on a good show because they feel like maybe thats what is expected of them but once they feel their kids can handle themselves they leave or they just stop caring what others think

07-27-2005, 06:31 PM	#6
drewsmom930 Woopdeedoo Join Date: Jul 2005 Location: Oklahoma Posts: 93	thats very true

07-28-2005, 11:27 AM	#9
Noseypoo Frappy Air Freshener Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: Maryland Posts: 4,216	I believe there's a thing like 'parental burnout'. Especially if you're a single parent having to handle any- and everything yourself with no help and support. And I don't think it has a thing to do with selfishness or being a bad parent. Where was the Dad of the girls the whole time?

07-28-2005, 09:51 PM	#11
Grimey Schnook Join Date: Feb 2003 Location: Springfield Posts: 2,163	You might be burned out, but it is still not an excuse for bailing. __________________ Stretch