Our Pets-If They Kept Diaries

Justawoman · 06-01-2005, 09:29 AM

As seen in a dog's diary:

>8am - Oh Boy! Dog food! My favorite!
>9am - Oh Boy! A car ride! My favorite!
>10am - Oh Boy! A walk! My favorite!
>11am - Oh Boy! A car ride! My favorite!
>Noon - Oh Boy! The kids! My favorite!
>1pm - Oh Boy! The yard! My favorite!
>3pm - Oh Boy! The kids again! My favorite!
>4pm - Oh Boy! Dog food! My favorite!
>5pm - Oh Boy! Mom! My favorite!
>7pm - Oh Boy! Playing ball! My favorite!
>9pm - Oh Boy! Sleeping in master's bed! My favorite!

As seen in a cat's diary:

Day 183 of my captivity... My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre
little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am
forced to eat dry cereal. The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of
escape, and the mild satisfaction I get from ruining the occasional piece
of furniture. Tomorrow I may eat another house plant.

Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their feet while they
were walking almost succeeded -- must try this at the top of the stairs. In
an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I once again
induced myself to vomit on their favorite chair -- must try this on their
bed.

I decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body, in an attempt to
make them aware of what I am capable of, and to try to strike fear into
their hearts. They only cooed and condescended about what a good little cat
I was. Hmmm, not working according to plan.

There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was placed in
solitary throughout the event. However, I could hear the noise and smell
the food. More importantly I overheard that my confinement was due to MY
power of "allergies." Must learn what this is and how to use it to my
advantage.

I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and maybe snitches. The dog
is routinely released and seems more than happy to return. He is obviously
a half-wit. The bird on the other hand has got to be an informant, and
speaks with them regularly. I am certain he reports my every move. Due to
his current placement in the metal room, his safety is assured. But I can
wait, it is only a matter of time..

Noseypoo · 06-01-2005, 09:37 AM

Oldy, but goody!

raybeck · 06-02-2005, 09:18 AM

Love that, JAW!! I wouldn't dare to venture what our animals might write....wonder what the cats, dogs and cows thought about the firetruck the other night???

Justawoman · 06-03-2005, 09:35 AM

Look under the hay Beck. All I am going to say about those cows of yours. diary... under.... hay!!! Beware!!

raybeck · 06-03-2005, 10:22 AM

Ya think? I know they love me, cuz I give them treats all the time....Ray made me quit, because they were getting so spoiled he couldn't do anything with them! ha ha I'm serious...

Justawoman · 06-03-2005, 01:50 PM

How cute Beck. I grew up with a cow we could ride. So gentle cows are great to have around.

raybeck · 06-03-2005, 04:18 PM

It's funny how some cows are just plain sweet and some can be real butts! It is good to have gentle cows, but some of them are so spoiled that they get right in your face if they think you have cake for them...when they are baby's it's so sweet, but when they grow and weigh over 1,000 pounds, not so cute...lol

Hannamoren · 06-03-2005, 04:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by raybeck

It's funny how some cows are just plain sweet and some can be real butts! It is good to have gentle cows, but some of them are so spoiled that they get right in your face if they think you have cake for them...when they are baby's it's so sweet, but when they grow and weigh over 1,000 pounds, not so cute...lol

tylerjones553 · 11-02-2011, 01:42 AM

Oh Boy! This post! My favorite! funny Diaries

Dude111 · 11-08-2011, 02:32 AM

Welcome!

Yes this is a good one

06-01-2005, 09:29 AM	#1
Justawoman Justamoderator Join Date: Jul 2004 Location: Texas Posts: 7,091	Our Pets-If They Kept Diaries As seen in a dog's diary: >8am - Oh Boy! Dog food! My favorite! >9am - Oh Boy! A car ride! My favorite! >10am - Oh Boy! A walk! My favorite! >11am - Oh Boy! A car ride! My favorite! >Noon - Oh Boy! The kids! My favorite! >1pm - Oh Boy! The yard! My favorite! >3pm - Oh Boy! The kids again! My favorite! >4pm - Oh Boy! Dog food! My favorite! >5pm - Oh Boy! Mom! My favorite! >7pm - Oh Boy! Playing ball! My favorite! >9pm - Oh Boy! Sleeping in master's bed! My favorite! As seen in a cat's diary: Day 183 of my captivity... My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry cereal. The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and the mild satisfaction I get from ruining the occasional piece of furniture. Tomorrow I may eat another house plant. Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their feet while they were walking almost succeeded -- must try this at the top of the stairs. In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I once again induced myself to vomit on their favorite chair -- must try this on their bed. I decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body, in an attempt to make them aware of what I am capable of, and to try to strike fear into their hearts. They only cooed and condescended about what a good little cat I was. Hmmm, not working according to plan. There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was placed in solitary throughout the event. However, I could hear the noise and smell the food. More importantly I overheard that my confinement was due to MY power of "allergies." Must learn what this is and how to use it to my advantage. I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and maybe snitches. The dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to return. He is obviously a half-wit. The bird on the other hand has got to be an informant, and speaks with them regularly. I am certain he reports my every move. Due to his current placement in the metal room, his safety is assured. But I can wait, it is only a matter of time.. __________________ You know you have had too much coffee when someone says,"how are you?", and you say,"good to the last drop."

06-02-2005, 09:18 AM	#3
raybeck Waffydaffy Join Date: May 2003 Location: Texas Posts: 2,120	Love that, JAW!! I wouldn't dare to venture what our animals might write....wonder what the cats, dogs and cows thought about the firetruck the other night??? __________________ Getting into the best shape of your life is a marathon, not a sprint!!! Beck

06-03-2005, 09:35 AM	#4
Justawoman Justamoderator Join Date: Jul 2004 Location: Texas Posts: 7,091	Look under the hay Beck. All I am going to say about those cows of yours. diary... under.... hay!!! Beware!! __________________ You know you have had too much coffee when someone says,"how are you?", and you say,"good to the last drop."

06-03-2005, 10:22 AM	#5
raybeck Waffydaffy Join Date: May 2003 Location: Texas Posts: 2,120	Ya think? I know they love me, cuz I give them treats all the time....Ray made me quit, because they were getting so spoiled he couldn't do anything with them! ha ha I'm serious... __________________ Getting into the best shape of your life is a marathon, not a sprint!!! Beck

06-03-2005, 01:50 PM	#6
Justawoman Justamoderator Join Date: Jul 2004 Location: Texas Posts: 7,091	How cute Beck. I grew up with a cow we could ride. So gentle cows are great to have around. __________________ You know you have had too much coffee when someone says,"how are you?", and you say,"good to the last drop."

06-01-2005, 09:37 AM	#2
Noseypoo Frappy Air Freshener Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: Maryland Posts: 4,216	Oldy, but goody!

06-03-2005, 04:18 PM	#7
raybeck Waffydaffy Join Date: May 2003 Location: Texas Posts: 2,120	It's funny how some cows are just plain sweet and some can be real butts! It is good to have gentle cows, but some of them are so spoiled that they get right in your face if they think you have cake for them...when they are baby's it's so sweet, but when they grow and weigh over 1,000 pounds, not so cute...lol __________________ Getting into the best shape of your life is a marathon, not a sprint!!! Beck

11-02-2011, 01:42 AM	#9
tylerjones553 Smart Feller Join Date: Nov 2011 Posts: 1	Oh Boy! This post! My favorite! funny Diaries

11-08-2011, 02:32 AM	#10
Dude111 An Awesome Dude Join Date: Oct 2006 Posts: 2,844	Welcome! Yes this is a good one