some humor with your cereal~December 18, 2000

Karenluvs6 · 12-18-2000, 07:33 AM

An enthusiastic door-to-door vacuum salesman goes to the first house
in his new territory. He knocks, a real mean and tough looking lady
opens the door, and before she has a chance to say anything, he runs
inside and dumps cow patties all over the carpet.
He says, "Lady, if this vacuum cleaner doesn't do wonders cleaning this
up, I'll eat every chunk of it."
She turns to him with a smirk and says, "You want ketchup on that?"
The salesman says, "Why do you ask?"
She says, "We just moved in and we haven't got the electricity turned
on yet."
------------------------------------------------------------
A completely inebriated man was stumbling down the street
with one foot on the curb and one foot in the gutter. A cop
pulled up and said, "I've got to take you in, pal. You're
obviously drunk"

Our wasted friend asked, "Ociffer, are ya absolutely sure
I'm drunk?"

"Yeah, buddy, I'm sure," said the copper. "Let's go."

Breathing a sigh of relief the wino said, "Thank goodness,
I thought I was a cripple."
------------------------------------------------------------

Dude111 · 11-27-2009, 11:42 PM

Hehehe the first one was funny as anything

mywork08 · 05-17-2010, 01:32 AM

Business one-liners 01

A President of a democracy is a man who is always ready, willing, and able to lay down your life for his country.

A backscratcher will always find new itches; a brown-noser will always find new sense.

A bad day fishing is better than a good day at work.

A bird in the bush usually has a friend in there with him.

A bird in the hand is always safer than one overhead.

A bird in the hand is dead.

A bird in the hand makes it hard to blow your nose.

A boss with no humor is like a job that is no fun.

A clean tie attracts the soup of the day.

A closed mouth gathers no foot.

12-18-2000, 07:33 AM	#1
Karenluvs6 WuvvyDuvvy Charteroo Join Date: Oct 2000 Location: Delta, PA USA Posts: 1,944	An enthusiastic door-to-door vacuum salesman goes to the first house in his new territory. He knocks, a real mean and tough looking lady opens the door, and before she has a chance to say anything, he runs inside and dumps cow patties all over the carpet. He says, "Lady, if this vacuum cleaner doesn't do wonders cleaning this up, I'll eat every chunk of it." She turns to him with a smirk and says, "You want ketchup on that?" The salesman says, "Why do you ask?" She says, "We just moved in and we haven't got the electricity turned on yet." ------------------------------------------------------------ A completely inebriated man was stumbling down the street with one foot on the curb and one foot in the gutter. A cop pulled up and said, "I've got to take you in, pal. You're obviously drunk" Our wasted friend asked, "Ociffer, are ya absolutely sure I'm drunk?" "Yeah, buddy, I'm sure," said the copper. "Let's go." Breathing a sigh of relief the wino said, "Thank goodness, I thought I was a cripple." ------------------------------------------------------------ __________________ *It's not how you pick your nose...but where you put the booger that counts.*

11-27-2009, 11:42 PM	#2
Dude111 An Awesome Dude Join Date: Oct 2006 Posts: 2,844	Hehehe the first one was funny as anything

05-17-2010, 01:32 AM	#3
mywork08 Fart Smeller Join Date: May 2010 Posts: 21	Business one-liners 01 A President of a democracy is a man who is always ready, willing, and able to lay down your life for his country. A backscratcher will always find new itches; a brown-noser will always find new sense. A bad day fishing is better than a good day at work. A bird in the bush usually has a friend in there with him. A bird in the hand is always safer than one overhead. A bird in the hand is dead. A bird in the hand makes it hard to blow your nose. A boss with no humor is like a job that is no fun. A clean tie attracts the soup of the day. A closed mouth gathers no foot.